这样对吗? 它是我的最后的考试..

大家好！我的名字是（叫）王哲，我今年二十岁。我学了两年中文，我喜欢它。我在未来的一年（里，）会去中国，因为我想学习中文。我的 （我）一些来自上海的朋友向我介绍了首歌曲， 它叫爱情好无奈。我非常喜欢这首歌，希望你也喜欢。如果你想知道刚铎（更多）中国歌手（，）你可以问我。谢谢你们！秦（请）享受这首歌。

Hello everybody! My name is Zhe, I am twenty years old. I have studied Chinese for two years, and I like it. I will go to China next year, because I want to learn Chinese. Some of my friends from Shanghai, introduced this song to me, it is called “love a good frustration”. I really like this song, hope you like it too. If you want to know good Chinese singers you can ask me. Thank you! Please enjoy this song.


This is my final exam for chinese...is it right? Thanks
哲

这样对吗? 它这是我的最后的期末考试..

大家好！我的名字是王哲，我今年二十岁。我已经学了两年中文，很喜欢它。我在未来的一年明年（which is concise）会去中国，因为我想学习中文。我的一些来自上海的朋友向我介绍了首歌曲， 它叫爱情好无奈。我非常喜欢这首歌，希望你也喜欢。如果你想知道刚铎更多优秀的中国歌手，你可以问我。谢谢你们！秦请（qing，not “qin”）享受这首歌。

Hello everybody! My name is Zhe, I am twenty years old. I have studied Chinese for two years, and I like it. I will go to China next year, because I want to learn Chinese. Some of my friends from Shanghai, introduced this song to me, it is called “love a good frustration”. I really like this song, hope you like it too. If you want to know good Chinese singers you can ask me. Thank you! Please enjoy this song.


This is my final exam for chinese...is it right? Thanks
哲

 

大家好！我的名字是王哲，我今年二十岁。我学了两年中文，我喜欢它。我在未来的一年会去中国，因为我想学习中文。我的一些来自上海的朋友向我介绍了首歌曲， 它叫爱情好无奈。我非常喜欢这首歌，希望你也喜欢。如果你想知道刚铎中国歌手你可以问我。谢谢你们！秦享受这首歌。


大家好！我的名字是王哲（我叫王哲），今年二十岁。我已经学了两年中文，发现自己越来越喜欢学习汉语。明年我会去中国，因为我想把汉语学得更好。我上海的朋友介绍给我了一首歌，歌名是《爱情好无奈》。我非常喜欢这首歌，希望你也喜欢。如果哪位朋友想了解中国歌手刚铎，可以找我……谢谢你们！请大家欣赏《爱情好无奈》这首歌。

这样对吗? 它是我的最后的考试..

大家好！我的名字是王哲，我(你已经用了逗号，在主语没改变的情况下，无需再加我了，重复累赘）今年二十岁。我学了两年中文，我喜欢它。我会在未来的一年内会去中国，因为我想学习中文。我的一些来自上海的朋友向我介绍了首歌曲， 它叫《爱情好无奈》。我非常喜欢这首歌，希望你也喜欢。如果你想知道刚铎更多优秀的中国歌手你可以问我。谢谢你们！秦请享受这首歌。

Hello everybody! My name is Wang (Please remember your family name.)Zhe, I am twenty years old. I have studied Chinese for two years, and I like it. I will go to China next year, because I want to learn Chinese. Some of my friends from Shanghai, introduced this song to me, it is called “love a good frustration”. I really like this song, hope you like it too. If you want to know other good Chinese singers you can ask me. Thank you! Please enjoy this song.


This is my final exam for chinese...is it right? Thanks
哲