Who am I? Chapter one
Like every morning at eight o'clock, she stayed at the bus stop. It's was cloudy. She was looking people get into bus number five throught the front door , when suddenly it started to rain. Mary opened her pink umbrella, she can't started the rain. Then, she saw Michael over the road, driving his sport red car. She weaving to him, but he did't see her.
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Who am I? Chapter one
Like every other morning at eight o'clock, she stood at the bus stop. It's was cloudy. She was watching people get onto bus number five throught the front door , when suddenly it started to rain. Mary opened her pink umbrella, she can't stand the rain. Then, she saw Michael over the road, driving his red sport red car. She waved to him, but he did't see her.
A good story.
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Who am I? Chapter One
Like every morning at eight o'clock, she sat/stood at the bus stop. It was cloudy. She was watching people get onto bus number five throught the front door, when suddenly it started to rain. Mary opened her pink umbrella, she can't stand the rain. Then she saw Michael over the road driving his red sports car. She waved at him, but he didn't see her.
¡Buen trabajo Marciel!
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Who am I? Chapter one
Like every other morning at eight o'clock, she stayed stood at the bus stop. It's was cloudy. She was looking watching people get into bus number five throught the front door when suddenly it started to rain. Mary opened her pink umbrella,. She can't started stand the rain. Then she saw Michael over the road, driving his sport red sports car on the road. She weaving waved to him, but he did't see her.
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Who am I? Chapter one
Like every morning at eight o'clock, she stayed at the bus stop. It's was cloudy. She was looking at people get onto bus number five throught the front door , when suddenly it started to rain. Mary opened her pink umbrella, she couldn't stand (not sure if this is what you meant....) started the rain. Then, she saw Michael across the road, driving his red sports car. She waved at him, but he didn't see her.
Great work! :) "Sports car" is a single term, we would put the color before it.
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Who Am I? Chapter One
Every morning at eight o'clock, she waited at the bus stop. It was cloudy. She was watching people board bus #5 when, suddenly, it started to rain. Mary opened her pink umbrella, to shield herself from the falling drops. Then she saw Michael, driving past her in his red sports car. She waved to him, but he didn't notice.
Great story, Marcial! Can't wait to see how it ends! You've created the "hook" which makes your reader want to continue turning the pages.
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