Are Dialects Just as Acceptable in Public Places？

Mandarin as language name is a proper noun.  So you need to capitalize it.  If not, it either means an official or a type of oranges!  Just the same for some words like

China

Jack

John

Polish

Sue

Other than these, I find no major error.  However, a bit long winded in some places but still very acceptable.  Good work.  Those in green are I find a bit too lax or folksy for a formal piece.  Those in Cyan are too stiff and mechanical.  The blues are better wording.

Mandarin is the standard service sector language in our country. By using Mandarin, people could easily communicate with people agree with the national policy to promote mandarin and forbid local dialects in public places. However, I insist that local dialects be accepted in public places on the basis of their roles in communication, cultures and daily-life entertainment.

To begin with, dialects are the pleasant means of communication. Although mandarin is the country’s predominant language and is widely used in China, there are still many old people that can’t speak mandarin in daily life. They would not be able to communicate their ideas if local dialects were forbidden in public places since no other languages are available at hand and as enjoyable as dialects. In addition, dialects are also the means to get local people together and give them a feel of belonging when they leave their hometown.

What’s more, there are thousands of dialects which are still used in China now. They are not only a tool for communication but also the messenger of culture. In reality, we can find interesting phenomenon that two areas use quite different words to describe the same thing and they can’t understand each other when they only use their own dialects. As time goes by, a dialect blend and reflect the culture of one area and find a place in culture. If dialects were eliminated from daily life, traditional culture and customs will probably be lost and forgotten [, relegated to pages of history] broken.

Last but not least, dialects entertain local people a lot more in their daily life. There are lots of performances by using dialects, such as Xiangsheng, Huang Meixi,_Suzhou Ping Tan… These dialects came into the spotlight and enjoyed more greater popularity all over the country. Such a cultural phenomenon represents an attitude of the audience, for local dialects cater to the taste of the majority and thus are more likely to entertain the local people here and there.

To sum up, local dialects should be acceptable in public places for its unique role that mandarin can’t replace. From a long-term perspective, they will play an important role in developing culture, communicating ideas and entertaining people.