Anyone would like to correct my writing please? part I

The Positive and Negative Aspects of Staying Living in Student Dormitories Bedsit

My name is Lalang Darma Bakti and I am a student of the Maulana Malik Ibrahim State Islamic University of Malang. I have been studying in this Islamic university here for two years. I come from Mojokerto and so it is impossible for me to go home everyday every day. For that this reason, I have to stay live ["stay" means for a limited short time or temporary.  "Live" is for longer periods."  Usually we say "stay in the hotel".  However, "live in a hotel is also correct because some rich people do LIVE in a hotel to enjoy the facilities on a permanent basis.] in the school dormintories a bedsit. Based on my experiences, there are several positive and negative aspects staying in student bedsit for university student in this regard. The positive aspects are making us to be autonomous, independent, wise, responsible, economical, [independence means all these which one may or may not learn] and sociable person. On the other hand, staying in a bedsit also has several negative aspects like being homesick, uncontrollable, and feeling lonely are inevitable. loneliness.

The second positive aspect is making us to be a wise person. A wise person should have or show the ability to make good judgments, based on a deep understanding and experience of life. In our daily activity before we decided to make a decision we must think about the positive and the negative sides after that, we will make our judgment. Our judgment could be wrong or true and from the previous judgment we will learn something. So, time by time we will be wiser and wiser person because of our priceless experiences. This is long winded in the way you express.  I suggest the following:

In making our own decisions, whether it is a good or not we learn from the results.  If we fall, we feel the pain and learn not to do it again.  If someone makes the decision for us and if it is a bad one, the first thing we do is to blame it upon them.  If we do learn from our mistakes, we become wiser.  This is the only path to do.  For over protective parents, they do no good in the long run for their children.

The third positive aspect is making us to be a responsible person. In student bedsit our family can not monitor us every hour. We have total control in order to manage our time. So, we must responsible in every step that we take. Furthermore, in student bedsit we have to do all of our daily activities by ourselves such as washing clothes, cleaning room, cooking for meal, buying some daily needs, and so on. That must be totally different when we stay at home since our families will help us to do almost all of our daily activities. Same reason as above.

Parents cannot monitor us all the time. We have to learn to control and manage our time, our actions and experience the real life for ourselves.  This is the way we learn how to be responsible.  It is also the way to learn that mundane routines of life is not easy.  At home, we have our mothers to shop, to cook and to clean for us.  We have no such luxury in the dormitories.

For those who live in the dormitories, like me, we become more independent and more responsible  than those living at home.

The first positive aspect of staying in a student bedsit is making us to be an autonomous person. Base on Cambridge Advance Learner Dictionary autonomous [This word is reserved for governments, public bodies and not for individual person.  Independence can be used for a person as well as for a country] means Being independent and having means to have the power to make your own decisions. I might conclude that an autonomous person is a person who can be independent and having the power to make his own decision. [You are repeating.  This adds no value to your essay]. Staying Living in a dormintory will bedsit make us to be an autonomous person will ensure you to learn your lessons well because there is no other people who will one can make a decision for you.  us weather whether we want to study, do praying, go to the campus, doing assignments, playing games or not. Everything you do on your own or being made to do so by the rules of the school, the choice is yours to make. It will be is different when we stay from living at home, generally our parents will make decisions for us whether we like it or not.  but in the student bedsit we will make a decision for ourselves.