Jokes from Fighter. Part 4

About politicians:

Lenin climbs on an armored troop-carrier for his speech. The crowd around troop-carrier is chanting, "Len-non!! Len-non!! Len-non!!" Lenin shouts, "Excuse me, comrades! I'm not Lennon, I'm Lenin!" But the crowd chants again, "Len-non!! Len-non!! Len-non!!" Lenin says, "I'm not Lennon, I'm comrade Lenin!" The people are continue to shout, "Len-non!! Len-non!! Len-non!!" Lenin says, "OK, to hell with you!" He takes a guitar and begins to sing: "You say you want a revolution, oh, Well, you know we all wanna change the world..." 


About drug addicts:

One day the Soviet government decides to send drug addicts to Afghanistan as soldiers instead of healthy young boys. The drug addicts were gathered on a railway station. And an officer says, "You will get a dose of drugs for every head of a killed Taliban's member!" The drug addicts were inspired and they take their carriages very quickly. A travel was long. On the first stop the drug addicts get out their carriages and scattered. Some hours later they become to return to the train. Ones carry one head with a turban, others carry two or three heads with turbans, others carry bags with heads. The officer makes round his eyes and says, "Boys, you are crazy!! We arrived to Turkmenistan only!!"


About Russians:

One day a competition between thieves of different countries was performed. A task was the following: to open a secure safe, inclusive one million dollars, for ten minutes seating in a full darkness. Germans came in a room. A light was off. Ten minutes later the light was on, but the safe was shut and the Germans were sad. The same was happened with Americans. Russians came in the room. The light was off. Ten minutes later organizers of the competition tried to on the light, but it did not work. A voice was heard in the darkness, "Ivan, you have one million dollars in your pocket already! Why do you want to have this lamp?"


About family:

A son comes to his father and says, "Daddy, conjugate, please, German verb 'habe' for me!" The dad answers, "Oh, I cannot do it, son!" The son says, "Why, daddy? You studied at school though". Father answers, "Yes, son, but I don't use it in my everyday life. And if I need it, I can look at a textbook". The son says, "Hmm... Curiously... I have got "two" from my teacher for the same answer".

Jokes from Fighter. Part 4

About politicians:

Lenin climbs on a armored troop-carrier for his speech. The crowd around the troop-carrier is chanting, "Len-non!! Len-non!! Len-non!!" Lenin shouts, "Excuse me, comrades! I'm not Lennon, I'm Lenin!" But the crowd chants again, "Len-non!! Len-non!! Len-non!!" Lenin says, "I'm not Lennon, I'm comrade Lenin!" The people are continue to shout, "Len-non!! Len-non!! Len-non!!" Lenin says, "OK, to hell with you!" He takes a guitar and begins to sing: "You say you want a revolution, oh, Well, you know we all wanna change the world..."


About drug addicts:

One day the Soviet government decides to send drug addicts to Afghanistan as soldiers instead of healthy young boys. The drug addicts were gathered on a railway station. And an officer says, "You will get a dose of drugs for every head of a killed Taliban's member!" The drug addicts were inspired and they took their carriages very quickly. A The travel[/journey] was long. On the first stop the drug addicts get out left their carriages and scattered. Some hours later they become to returned to the train. Ones carried[/One (of them) was carrying] one head with a turban, others some carried two or three heads with turbans, others carried bags with heads. The officer makes round his eyes{i think you mean "looked surprised"} and said, "Boys, you are crazy!! We arrived to Turkmenistan only!!"

{while telling a story allways use past tense}


About Russians:

One day a competition between thieves of different countries was held performed. A The task{or "One of the tasks"} was the following: to open a secure safe, inclusive with one million dollars in it, for within ten minutes seating (and) in a full darkness. The Germans came into a the room. A The light was off. Ten minutes later the light was on, but the safe was shut and the Germans were sad. The same was happened with the Americans. Then the Russians came into the room. The light was off. Ten minutes later the organizers of the competition tried to on switch the light on, but it did not work. A voice was heard in the darkness, "Ivan, you have one million dollars in your pocket already! Why do you want to have this lamp?"


About family:

A son boy cames to his father and said, "Daddy, conjugate, please, (could you) please conjugate the German verb 'habe' for me!" The dad answered, "Oh, I cannot do it, son!" The son said[/asked], "Why, daddy? You studied it at school though". Father answered, "Yes, son, but I don't use it in my everyday life. And if I need it, I can look at a textbook". The son said, "Hmm... Curiously... I have got "two" from my teacher for the same answer".

{I suppose the "two" is reffering to a rating. You should, while translating the Joke to English also translate this to english Grades or explain what it means. Or else English readers might not understand. If the Russian Schoolsystem is like the German one, i think it would be a "B" in America or UK. We have grades 1-6 with 1 meaning "very good" and 6 "very bad". I think in America and UK they have similar Grading Systems with Grades from "A" (very good) to "F" (Failed) but im not sure.}

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Молодец! Im not sure though if i found all Errors, as English is not my native languange either and i am a little bit out of practice ;).