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Snow Storm On Saturday morning my family decided to go on a trip to the ocean. I was not happy because it was a very cold day but my Mother decided for me. After when we close to the beach I saw a small boat in which was a fisherwomen. My Family had good fun because they play with ball and ate a sausage . finally they had day off from work. The hour latter something strange began with sky. The clouds been a very black and the waves began huge .I only remember as dad say’’ be careful’’and I wake up the middle on the ocean .It was fantastic because I first time in my life I saw a snow but my smile after ten minutes escape from my face .When I saw 20 meters waves came to me. I thought it is your time to died but I felt something strange on my shoulders I was very surprised because my family rescued me. Next day my mother told me I was lucky because it was Snow storm of the century.

Corrections · 4

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Snow Storm of the Century

 

On Saturday morning, my family decided to go on a trip to the beach ocean. I was not happy because it was a very cold day the morning was very cold.  but my No choice but mother had decided for me. After when As we close to neared the beach, I saw a fisherwoman in small boat in which was a fisherwomen. My Family We [The way you wrote it means that everyone except you had fun] had good fun. [fun is always good even others may see it differently. The version in green is that they had fun and you did not.]  because they play with ball We played ballgames and ate a had sausages. finally They really enjoyed their had day off from work.

[My family had fun.  I did not.  They played ballgames and had sausages.  They really enjoyed their day off from work.]


The An hour latter, something strange began with the sky began to change... The clouds been a very grew black and the waves began to surge huge .I only remembered my father warning me to  as dad say’’ be careful.’’and However, the next thing I knew I wake up was in the middle on the ocean.  It I was feeling fantastic because I first time in my life I saw a snow. but However, my smile disappeared after ten minutes escape from my face .when I saw a 20 twenty meters waves came to lunging at me. I thought it is your my time to died has come [to meet my maker]. but Then I was surprised to feel felt something strange on my shoulders. I was very surprised. because [The way you wrote it sounds like your family did not love you and you were surprised that they rescued you!]


My family had rescued me. [You need to put this into the next paragraph] 

 

The next day, my mother told me that I was lucky because it the storm of yesterday was the Snow Storm of the century!

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Snow Storm

On Saturday morning, my family decided to go on a trip to the ocean beach. I was not happy because it was a very cold day, but my mother had decided for me. After When we were close to the beach I saw a small boat in which there was a fisherwomen. My family had good fun. They play with a ball and ate sausages. They finally had the day off from work. An hour later, something strange happened with sky. The clouds been a got very black and the waves began got huge. I only remembered dad saying ’’be careful’’ and then I woke up the middle on of the ocean. It was fantastic because I first time it was the first time in my life that I saw a snow. But my smile faded after ten minutes escape from my face. When I saw 20 meter waves come on me. I thought it is your time to died I had died, but I felt something strange on my shoulders and I was very surprised as my family had rescued me. The next day my mother told me I was lucky because it was the snow storm of the century.

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