Where are my dreams?
Where are my dreams? Maybe I have lost somewhere.
Today when I went window-shopping, I saw a dancing boy around by many people. But he was dancing as if there was nobody with passion, which attracted me, waked me. Who am I?Where am I? Where are my dreams?
When I was young, I want to learn dancing, want to learn another language, want to travel,want to...However, I have lost them somewhere in my heart.
So, I will pick them up now! I will find myself! Say goodbye to yesterday!
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Corrections · 2
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Where are my dreams?
Where are my dreams? Maybe I have lost somewhere.
Today when I went window-shopping, I saw a dancing boy around by many people. But he was dancing with passion as if there was nobody, which attracted me, waked me up. Who am I?Where am I? Where are my dreams?
When I was young, I want to learn dancing, want to learn another language, want to travel,want to...However, I have lost them somewhere in my heart.
So, I will pick them up now! I will find myself! Say goodbye to yesterday!
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The sentence starting "But" distracts me as a reader by suggesting misleading meanings! "...surrounded by many people. But he was dancing as if there was nobody with passion, which attracted me, waked me." - Was there nobody with passion? - Hence I would suggest sentence with unambiguous meaning: "But he was dancing - as if there was nobody there - with passion, which attracted me, waked me up." I am suggesting the use of hyphens to break the wrong link "as if there was nobody (there) with passion". Some use of commas instead of hyphens would probably be possible too!
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