Original

Hi! This is my first note. Read please!

Hi. I'm 21years old Korean.
I'm taking off from university for working at small company. My company has a small factory which manufactures wire rope. I love traving aorund. So I am planning trip. I will visit Russia, Belarus, Poland, Ukranie, Romania, Greece, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Kazahstan, and China. I anticipate the days I will travel around Asia, and east Europe. I want to meet many good friends at those countries. Thanks to read my bad English. Have a good day.

Corrected

Hi. I'm a 21 year old Korean. 
I'm taking off from university to work at a small company. My company has a small factory which manufactures wire rope. I love traveling around, so I am planning atrip. I will visit Russia, Belarus, Poland, Ukranie, Romania, Greece, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Kazahstan, and China. I anticipate the days I will travel around Asia, and east Europe. I want to meet many good friends at those countries. Thanks for reading my bad English. Have a good day.

Hi! (Hello!)

This is my first entry//journal//essay on Italki. 

Please read it!

Hi. I'm 21 years old and I'm Korean. //또는//I'm Korean and I'm 21 years old.

I'm taking some time away(on leave) from school right now to work at/for a small company.

This company (that) I'm working for has a small factory which manufactures wire rope.

Since I love traveling/to travel, I am planning a trip (right now).

I'm planning to visit Russia, Belarus, Poland, Ukranie, Romania, Greece, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Kazahstan, and China.

I'm looking forward to traveling all over Asia, and eastern Europe.

I want to make a lot of/many new friends there.///during my travels.

Thanks for reading and correcting my less than perfect English.

Have a good day.

Hi! This is my first note. Read please!

Hi. I'm a 21 year-old Korean.
I'm taking off from the university for to working at a small company. My company has a small factory which manufactures wire rope. I love traving aorund, so I am planning a trip. I will visit Russia, Belarus, Poland, Ukranie, Romania, Greece, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Kazahstan and China. I anticipate the days I will travel around Asia and east Europe. I want to meet many good friends at in those countries. Thanks to for reading my bad English. Have a good day.

[Not bad at all.  You don't need a comma before 'and' in a list]