My Diary – The Second Day

Thanks to Jeff, [Thanks!] I can continue my Diary1 with less mistakes. This idea looks sounds good, not at all 2! 

Well, this is my today.

This morning I woke up at seven o’clock. Had breakfast and then I accompanied my daughter to school. It was her third day of school and she was less happy than yesterday!

Then I went to work which is located [writing the same thing everyday is boring, so I am adding flourishes] in the centre of city. 3 , but However, today I only 4 worked for only 7 hours long today but after work and when I was done, I was less tired than yesterday.

This evening my wife looked at me with a in great smiles. 5 that This is a very great news! Maybe [I prefer "Perhaps"] that piece of the cake of from yesterday took its effect! [I would say, "... that piece of cake from yesterday was magical after all.", a bit of exaggeration here and there livens up the writing.]

We had dinner together and we talked about things that happened today. spoke about our time.

After, We look watched 6 TV together, but when their they (my wife and my daughter) went to bed, I switched turned on the TV’s channel to the watch a match of my favourite football team.  -  (Padua, of course obviously!)

The result of it? I shall tell you tomorrow…

Bye

You learn more English this way than in the classroom by writing a diary with corrections and comments from people.

1.  Just a comment.  Usually we don't capitalize common nouns. "my diary" will be sufficient.  If you capitalize it, it means you are emphasizing that this diary is special or have importance even if it is only to you alone.  However, even if this is the case, don't over use it in the same piece, otherwise you will be seen as bragging.

2.  If you do not omit this, it can sound like, it is not a good idea at all.  This sort of thing is called paraprosdokian.  For example, "I love you - not!"

http://www.italki.com/notebook/entry/165500.htm

3.  The sentence is too long.  So I am breaking it up.  "However" and "but" means the same.  "However" can appear in the beginning of the sentence.  Many frowns on using "but" in the beginning.  It is insisted that it appears in the middle of the sentence.  So to be on the safe side, use this rule.  You never know who is reading your writing and get a wrong perception of you.

4. I am sure you are emphasizing the work and not the hours here.  There's a difference between

"I only work for 7 hours"

"I work for only 7 hours".

5.  Be generous even if she did only gave you one! :)

6. There are differences for the following words, "see", "watch", "look", "view".

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_difference_between_the_words_look_watch_and_see

Similarly for "hear" and "listen"

My Diary – The Second Day

Thanks to Jaff, I can continue my Diary with less mistakes. This idea looks good, after all!

Well, this is my today.

This morning I woke up at seven o’clock. Had breakfast and then I accompanied my daughter to school. It was her third day of school and she was less happy than yesterday!

Then I went to work in the centre of city, but today I worked for only 7 hours long and when I was done, I was less tired than yesterday.

This evening my wife looked at me with a smile, that is a very great news! Maybe that the cake of yesterday took its effect!

We had dinner together and we spoke about our time.

After, we look at TV together, but when their (my wife and my daughter) went to bed, I turn on the TV’s channel to the match of my favourite football team (Padua, obviously!)

The result of it? I tell you tomorrow…

Bye