Corrections · 1
This is my IELTS Writing. Thanks.
Hello everybody! I am preparing for the IELTS exam. IELTS stands for International English Language Testing System which tests English proficiency across the globe.
IELTS writing is assessed according to levels of task achievement, vocabulary, grammar and cohesive devices.
So I believe you can correct the mistakes in my writing part of the IELTS in the four band descriptions above. I will really appreciate it.
Okay this is my composition:
Title: International organizations should provide poor countries with technology and practical advice rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, numerous international organizations offer assistance to impoverished nations. Some individuals argue that they should provide technology and practical advice rather than financial aid. In my opinion, I agree on this view.
The creation brought by assisting technology and practical suggestions are more profitable. Citizens in impoverished nations will create more profit. Specifically, receiving the help as they can use it to the industry to create a great deal of profit in the future. However money only helps in a short period. Besides, governments in poor developing countries are supposed to show their responsibility to help their contries change situations like this. Therefore, scientists and engineers are obligated to associate the leading foreign technology with the development of their modern industry, which is also a beneficial opportunity to motivate the natives who devoted themselves to contributing to the construction of industry. More importantly, receiving financial aid may cause corruption to some extent—that is to say most common people cannot enjoy the profit in most time. Besides,this result may cause an aggravated circulation created by feckless government officers.
On the other side of the debate though some individuals harbor the notion that assisting financial aid may be a direct way to help the people in poor countries. It seems true this way may be profitable in a short time. Even so, the poor countries may be dependable on the organization. In other words, it is not possible for poor countries to develop independently in the future. But I still suggest that this is also a indispensable part of the assistance.
In conclusion, I believe helping them with modern technology and suggestions will be better. Obviously, it is critical for the government to deal with the assistance in poor areas and nations.
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