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16th August (8月16日) 昨日は、五山の送り火の日でした。 私の通っている大学からは、五山の一つである大文字が非常によく見えます。 今年、祖母が亡くなった私にとって、今年の送り火は非常に感慨深いものでした。 このお盆という時期は死者が帰ってくるという時期でもあり、 また、広島、長崎に原爆が投下され、日本が降伏した時期でもあることから、 例年、日本では戦争に関する報道が多くなされます。 私自身、この時期になると、戦争や人生、祖先について不思議と振り返らされるものです。 亡くなった私の祖母は、ちょうど終戦のころ、今の私と同じ歳で、 祖母の青春は戦争と、その後の混乱により奪われてしまったのだと思います。 しかしその中でも、懸命に生き、働き、そして家族を築いてくれた祖母に非常に感謝しています。 また、今の自分の幸せが、もちろん自分の両親もですが、(日本に限らず)戦争で亡くなられた多くの方々や、その後の日本を築いてくださった方々など 自分の想像を越えた、多くの方々の犠牲や努力の上に成り立っているのだと、 思い知らされます。 だからこそ、私たちは生きている限り、自分にとっても、周りにとっても、 よりよい人生を送る努力をする義務があるのではないか、と思います。 この日記を読んで、外国の方がどのように感じるのかは、私にはわかりません。 しかし、原爆が投下された国の一国民として、 世界中に戦争のない、平和なときが訪れる日を願ってなりません。 Yesterday, 'Gozan no Okuribi' bonfires were lit in kyoto, Japan. I saw the Daimonjiyaki, one of the bonfires, from my university. This year's Okuribi is deeply impressive for me, because my grandmother died this year. Obon is a season when the dead come back to this world, and it is also the season when nuclear bombs were droped to Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Japan surrendered 65years ago. So, in this season many TV programs about the war are aired in Japan every year. (In Japan, 'war' often means World War II.) As for me, I naturally think about the war, lives and ancestor. When the war came to an end, My grandmother was 25years old, which is close to my own age. Her joyful youth would be deprived by the war and subsequent commotion. But she lived, worked and built a home with all her energy. I'm very appreciate her. My today's happy days are founded on many people's lives, such as who were dead in the war, rebuilt this country, as well as my ancestor. So, I think that I should keep trying to make my life better for me and for my surroundings. I have no idea about the feelings of people who read this notebook, but I hope that peaceful time comes all over the world.

Corrections · 6

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Yesterday, ‘Gozan no Okuribi’ bonfires were lit in Kyoto, Japan.
I saw the Daimonjiyaki, one of the bonfires, from my university.
This year’s Okuribi is especially meaningful for me, because my grandmother died this year.

Obon is the season when the dead come back to this world, and it is also the season when nuclear bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 65 years ago, Japan surrendered during Obon.
So, every year, during Obon, many TV programs about the war are aired in Japan.
(In Japan, ‘war’ often means World War II.)

As for me, I naturally think about the war, lives and ancestors.

When the war ended, my grandmother was 25 years old, which is close to my current age.
Her joyful youth would be deprived by the war and subsequent commotion.
But she lived, worked and built a home with all her energy.
I’m very appreciative her.

My current happy days are founded on many people’s lives, such as those who died in the war, those who rebuilt this country, as well as my ancestors.
So, I think that I should keep trying to make my life better for myself and for my surroundings.

I have no idea about the feelings of people who read this notebook, but I hope that peaceful time comes all over the world.

0

Your English is very very good. Most of the errors I saw were very small things like punctuation and a couple places where you could sound more natural. It was also a very heartwarming message. I hope my corrections are helpful.

16th August (8月16日)

昨日は、五山の送り火の日でした。
私の通っている大学からは、五山の一つである大文字が非常によく見えます。
今年、祖母が亡くなった私にとって、今年の送り火は非常に感慨深いものでした。

このお盆という時期は死者が帰ってくるという時期でもあり、
また、広島、長崎に原爆が投下され、日本が降伏した時期でもあることから、
例年、日本では戦争に関する報道が多くなされます。

私自身、この時期になると、戦争や人生、祖先について不思議と振り返らされるものです。
亡くなった私の祖母は、ちょうど終戦のころ、今の私と同じ歳で、
祖母の青春は戦争と、その後の混乱により奪われてしまったのだと思います。
しかしその中でも、懸命に生き、働き、そして家族を築いてくれた祖母に非常に感謝しています。
また、今の自分の幸せが、もちろん自分の両親もですが、(日本に限らず)戦争で亡くなられた多くの方々や、その後の日本を築いてくださった方々など
自分の想像を越えた、多くの方々の犠牲や努力の上に成り立っているのだと、
思い知らされます。
だからこそ、私たちは生きている限り、自分にとっても、周りにとっても、
よりよい人生を送る努力をする義務があるのではないか、と思います。

この日記を読んで、外国の方がどのように感じるのかは、私にはわかりません。
しかし、原爆が投下された国の一国民として、
世界中に戦争のない、平和なときが訪れる日を願ってなりません。

Yesterday, 'Gozan no Okuribi' bonfires were lit in Kkyoto, Japan.
I saw the Daimonjiyaki, one of the bonfires, from my university.
This year's Okuribi is deeply impressive ("especially meaningful" or "especially important" might convey this thought better.) for me, because my grandmother died this year.

Obon is a the season when the dead come back to this world, and it is also the season when nuclear bombs were dropped to on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Japan surrendered 65years ago (This sentence isn't incorrect, but it is hard to read due to its length). 65 years ago, Japan surrendered during Obon.
So, every year, during Obon, many TV programs about the war are aired in Japan every year. (It's easier to read if the time statements are the together)
(In Japan, 'war' often means World War II.)

As for me, I naturally think about the war, lives(This is OK, but it's a bit unclear what aspect of the 'lives' you mean. Do you mean the lives lost?) and ancestors.
When the war came to an end ended, mMy grandmother was 25 years old, which is close to my own current age.
Her joyful youth would be deprived by the war and subsequent commotion.

But she lived, worked and built a home with all her energy.
I'm very appreciate appreciative her.

My today's current happy days are founded on many people's lives, such as those who were dead died in the war, those who rebuilt this country, as well as my ancestors.

So, I think that I should keep trying to make my life better for me myself and for my surroundings.

I have no idea about the feelings of people who read this notebook, but I hope that peaceful time comes all over the world.

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