Relationships in China Part 2
I believe the most healthy long term relationships are those that permit a child to develop relationships at their own pace, that permit the child to initiate a career, or to finish their education and when possible, do some travel. To have a healthy relationship with someone, means first to know yourself, and to develop yourself as an individual. I have a saying: There are three types of relationship in one relationship:
1) You- this acknowledges that the other person in the relationship is an individual, has their own hobbies, interest and personality
2) Me- this acknowledges that you are an individual, that you have your own hobbies, interest and personality
3) We- this acknowledges the joint union of you and the other person, shared interest, hobbies, emotions and most of all, mutual respect.
Without these three considerations, most relationships will not be healthy or happy. It takes time to discover yourself, who you are as a person, so that is why it is important to make some time for that, before getting into a serious/committed relationship. Anyway, this is what I think, based on my life experience.
Saturday May 19, 2012 11:56
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Corrections · 3
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Thanks Leah. I think this is why this website is so valuable. I am grateful for your perspective and for RJHoward's perspective. I don't need to look you up to know that you two don't live in the same place. thanks again.
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ah, sorry, should be "two young people are working to support a family consisting of 7 members" xD And people should pay a lot of momey every year to the endowment insurance for 20 years, then they can get a little amount of money back. Althought they say that you can get more when you're older, but few people can live that long to get back the money they paid previously. They make up all kinds of lies to make you buy medical insurance but when you're sick, they have all kinds of reasons not to pay the bill for you. It's said that everyone in China enjoys the benefit of social welfare but in remote places like Guizhou, only the officials know what the social welfare is and know how to get not only what belongs to them, but also what belongs to poor people there. So, the situation without any welfare and insurance make young people under more pressure than ever before.
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Hi! I'm Leah from China. This entry is interesting but I don't really understand the first two types of relationships. I agree with you that most of children in the cities of China have no sibling because of the family plan. So usually the children are under great pressure of taking care of their parents cause the you know the social welfare and insurance are just LIEs in China. When two people decide to form a family, that means 2 only people are working to support a family consists of 5 members. More and more young people refuse to take care of their parents in the countryside even if they have siblings--they always expect their siblings to take more responsibilities. This can be one of the reasons why parents push their sons or daughters into a relationship. But in cities, the more important reason is, young people are too busy with their careers to date someone. And when it comes to dates, they always think about material things which make things more complicated. So they remain single to their thirties or older, then their parents become anxious about it and push them into all kinds of blind dates. Anyways, it's funny and weird phenomenon.
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