Language Jokes

1.) A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and barked, and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language! Good One!

2.) The Teacher to a student: "Conjugate the verb 'to walk'" in simple present tense".

The Student: "I walk. You walk..."

 The Teacher interrupts him: "Quicker please."

 The Student: "I run. You run..."  This is the form for jokes.  It's clearer.

3.) (For advanced learners... and teachers?) Early one morning, one of the gods was galloping around Mount Mt. Olympus. Invigorated by the brisk breeze, he shouted euphorically, "I'm Thor!" His stallion looked back at him and reminded him, "That'th becauthe you forgot the thaddle, thilly!" I really don't get this one!  Maybe because I know too much of my Greek Mythology.  First of all, Thor isn't Greek but this is moot.  However, each "s" is being replaced by the "th" sound as if it was the accent for a horse.  So if you replace, the "th" in Thor with an "s".  Then who is "Sor"?

4.) You can use this joke to explain that insulting someone is considered funny especially when that person is fishing for a compliment.

Mary: "John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?"

Peter: "I think you're pretty ugly."  Good one. 

5.) Teacher: "Tell Give me a sentence that starts with an 'I"'.

Student: "I is the...."

Teacher: "Stop! Never put 'is' after an 'I'. Always put 'am' after an 'I'".

Student: "OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."  Great one! 

6.) The Doctor to the patient: "You are very sick"

The Patient to the doctor: "Can I get a second opinion?"

The Doctor again: "Yes, you are very ugly too..."

7.) One day, an English grammar teacher was looking ill.

8.) A student asked, "What's the matter?"

"Tense," answered the teacher, in describing how he felt. The student paused, then and continued, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter... ?"

8.)."Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

Thanks for sharing.