[Title of your essay] (please help me correct this article)

Today, the increasing average weight of people within many countries has become a global problem. This issue concerns all of us, given the health cost to society, as well as the advanced depletion of resources, and not just those people, individually, who are overweight.

The main reason why people have become obese in modern society is simply because of the lack of exercise. With the development and wide spread use of high technology, people are becoming less and less physically active. They can often achieve their work, simply just by clicking on computers, to control machines instead of doing some laborious physical work. Meanwhile, there is also much more stress imposed by the rapid pace of, and various life-styles within, modern society. If one only has but a little spare time, one would prefer to rest and relax their exhausted minds and bodies rather than do fitness activities.

What’s more, an unhealthy diet is another key factor leading to weight problems. In modern times, in order to save time and work longer, people often need to eat meals which are easy to create, and quickly prepared. That is why the "fast food" industry emerged to fill this demand. Unfortunately, fast food, which contains a lot of fat and empty calories, is decidedly unhealthy to one’s body. Sadly, people usually ignore that fact and continue to eat it for most, if not all, of their meals. In truth, a person's diet plays a vital role in the growth of one's body, as well as in maintaining one's health. We absorb most of the elements which are necessary for a human from what we eat. Thus, not eating properly, not getting the vitamins and nutrients we all need, means that we can not keep a balance on what we take in to make one's body function well. This, eventually, leads to being overweight.

To combat this problem, there are easy, yet, effective steps we should do. On the one hand, we should force ourselves to be more active. It is a much better choice to go out for a walk or to ride a bicycle instead of driving cars, if possible. Participating in sports is also an option. One can do what ever sports one likes such as basketball or hiking with your friends, both to have fun and to lose some calories at the same time. On the other hand, we must also pay more attention to what we are eating. Being aware of what one is consuming, and making sure that one gets the vitamins and minerals one needs, will be helpful to both one's physical and emotional well-being. In this manner, each country's respective society will be healthier, and the earth's natural resources may be used at a lower rate.

Liu, overall, a good essay. Understand that when you write such a long one, no one really has the time to correct them. That is why (I think..) no one else has done so. I could have helped 20 other people in the time it took me to redraft yours. As to your writing, when you make "statements," you also need to provide facts to support them. Failing in that, just make an assertion and don't contradict or undermine your argument ("The main reason people....is probably....). Think about what you are trying to say, then, state it logically and consisely (as I have tried to do with your ideas above). Anyway, I hope that I am not being overly critical and that you do not take offense. Honestly, just keep practicing, keep writing, and it will all come together for you! Good luck! J.