IELTS Essay Practice 001 : Government & Film
I'm practicing writing IELTS essays. Please help me refine my expressions, or share your thoughts about the topic. Thanks.
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Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films.
Why could this be?
Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?
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In many countries, foreign movies are more prevalent than domestically produced films. There could be many reasons why this is the case, but I don’t think governments should subsidize local film-making because there may be other fields better worth investing in.
There are various reasons why those blockbusters are often from overseas, among which the most compelling one shall be their higher quality resulting from a larger budget. Each year, the established film industries in developed countries attract billions of dollars of investment because only in these countries, such money could yield the most profit for investors. Take Hollywood for example. Unlike their counterparts outside the United States, Hollywood film studios have access to world-class stars and crews as well as the state-of-the-art technology, which brings Hollywood movies a global appeal that leads to greater box-office success. Such success, in turn, attracts more capital that nourishes the industry and produces more blockbusters.
In my view, governments should not support local film industries financially. The primary duty of a government is to equally improve the living standards of every citizen while subsidizing the film-making only benefits a minority of the population. The government budget every year is limited, and hence every coin should be used cost-effectively. In other words, governmental funds should be primarily allocated to the bread and butter issues, rather than to meet the film-makers’ needs for esteem or self-actualization. Funding health care, promoting public education, and subsidizing housing for the poor are all better ways to spend the tax handed in by citizens.
In conclusion, it is true that high-quality foreign movies still dominate the market, but governments should think twice before providing financial support for domestic film-makers.
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Corrections · 5
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IELTS Essay Practice 001 : Government & Film
In many countries, foreign movies are more prevalent than domestically produced films. While this situation exists due to many historical reasons, I do not think governments should subsidize local filmmaking because there are so many other, if not better, sectors worth investing in instead. Among the most compelling reasons for those blockbusters to come from overseas is their higher quality, which results from having a larger budget. Each year, the established film industries in developed countries attract billions of dollars of investment because it is only in those countries, can such money yield the most profit for investors. Unlike their counterparts outside the United States, for example, Hollywood-based film studios have access to well-known and first-rate stars, top production crews, and state-of-the-art technology, which allows the movies made there to have a global appeal that often leads to greater box-office success.
Such success, in turn, attracts more capital that nourishes the industry and produces still more blockbusters. In my view, given the well-established juggernaut they are up against, other governments should not financially support their local film industries. Instead, I feel that the primary duty of those governments is to improve the living standards of every one of its citizens, rather than subsidizing a filmmaking industry that would only benefit a small minority of the population. Many government budgets are limited; hence, every expense paid for with the public’s coin needs to be cost-effective and for the greater good. In other words, the spending of governmental funds on the “bread and butter” issues of everyday life enables the members of its society to be better off as a whole, rather than merely to fulfill a filmmakers’ need for artistic expression. Instead, and unquestionably, funding health care, improving public education, and subsidizing housing for the masses are all better ways for a government to spend the taxes collected from its citizens.
In conclusion, while it is true that for a number of reasons high-quality foreign films dominate the market, other governments, particularly those with limited budgets, should seriously think twice before providing substantial financial support to their domestic filmmakers.
Hi, Henry. Good job! Whatever changes I made were to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, to clarify your thoughts, and for ease of reading. My sincerest apologies if I have misinterpreted. I hope that this helps you, Jonathan.
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IELTS Essay Practice 001 : Government & Film
I'm practicing writing IELTS essays. Please help me refine my expressions, or share your thoughts about the topic. Thanks.
I
+++++++++++++++++++++
Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films.
Why could this be?
Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?
+++++++++++++++++++++
In many countries, foreign movies are more prevalent than domestically produced films. There could be many reasons why this is the case, but I don’t think governments should subsidize local film-making because there may be other fields better worth investing in.
There are various reasons why those blockbusters are often from overseas, among which the most compelling one shall be their higher quality resulting from a larger budget. Each year, the established film industries in developed countries attract billions of dollars of investment because only in these countries, such money could yield the most profit for investors. Take Hollywood for example. Unlike their counterparts outside the United States, Hollywood film studios have access to world-class stars and crews as well as the state-of-the-art technology, which brings Hollywood movies a global appeal that leads to greater box-office success. Such success, in turn, attracts more capital that nourishes the industry and produces more blockbusters.
In my view, governments should not support local film industries financially. The primary duty of a government is to equally improve the living standards of every citizen while subsidizing the film-making only benefits a minority of the population. The government budget every year is limited, and hence every coin should be used cost-effectively. In other words, governmental funds should be primarily allocated to the bread and butter issues, rather than to meet the film-makers’ needs for esteem or self-actualization. Funding health care, promoting public education, and subsidizing housing for the poor are all better ways to spend the tax handed in by citizens.
In conclusion, it is true that high-quality foreign movies still dominate the market, but governments should think twice before providing financial support for domestic film-makers.
Hi Henry,
Your writing is very good concerning the four criteria of evaluating writing in IELTS.
1. You achieved the task by covering all the points and answering the question. You also met the word limit.
2. For lexical resource, you wrote many rich words which are relevant to the topic. Linking words and complex sentences are noticeably written.
3. No grammar mistakes, speaking is accurate, and ideas are presented logically .
#### For the second body paragraph, you need to provide a supporting idea.
That was my feedback. If you are interested in some sessions for IELTS trying to maximise your score, feel free to check my availability. I offer inexpensive packages with very good discounts.
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