Self-introduction
It's my honor to be here to introduce myself. I'm Sherry from Shanghai ,China which is a modern international metropolis in the world. I'm 25 years old, and it has been two years since graduation. I majored in English and minored accounting. During my college life, I got a lot of life knowledge and happiness. Now，I'm dealing with national trade business and futures. I like my present job very much. And I believe that as long as there is love in the heart, life always so fine.
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Corrections · 3
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Self-introduction
It is my honor to be here to introduce myself. My name is Sherry, I am 25 years old, and I am from Shanghai, China, which is a modern international metropolis in the world. I graduated from college, where I majored in English and minored in accounting, over two years ago. During my time in college, I feel that I learned a lot about life and happiness. Now, I am dealing with national trade business and futures, and I like my present job very much. I also believe that as long as there is love in your heart, your life will always be good!*
Hi, Sherry. Good job! Whatever changes I made were to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, to clarify your thoughts, and for ease of reading. Sincere apologies if I have misinterpreted. I hope that this helps you. J.
*As to the grammar, just as we put our self in the second position out of politeness when we write, “My mother and I,” so, too, should you avoid, writing three consecutive sentences using the word, “I.” As to style, using “It is my honor” is somewhat too formal of a phrase absent a specific reason (giving a toast at a wedding, a speech at a graduation party, etc.). Similarly, absent your audience’s need to know, you should not give your age… (Which is something I thought all women already knew! (*-^))
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加油！
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Self-introduction
It's my honor to be here to introduce myself. I'm Sherry from Shanghai ,China which is a modern international metropolis. I'm 25 years old, and it has been two years since I graduated. I majored in English and minored in accounting. During my college life, I got a lot of life experience and happiness. Now I'm dealing with national trade, business and futures. I like my present job very much. And I believe that as long as there is love in the heart, life will always be fine.
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