In love but shy Help me to make this correct Shy You yearn and I strive And you start to wonder when should it finally be oh baby I just don't happen to find the right way. Baby I do know what I

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Jacques Kalahoui

In love but shy Help me to make this correct Shy You yearn and I strive And you start to wonder when should it finally be oh baby I just don't happen to find the right way. Baby I do know what I feel about you I'm sure of my love for you I'm just searching for The right posture The right words and The right moment I felt guilty over a love I told.... I may feel the same for this one I'm slow to tell oh baby I just don't happen to find the right way. You may think I'm not really interested If only you knew the scene I do in front of my mirror oh baby I just don't happen to find the right way

Corrections · 3

In love but shy

Help me to make this correct

Shy

You yearn and I strive(.)

And you start to wonder when should it finally be oh baby(.)

I just don't happen to find the right way.(Not sure what you mean here. Maybe: 'I just don't know how to find the right way.' or 'I just don't happen to know the right way.')

Baby I do know what (how) I feel about you(.)

I'm sure of my love for you(.)

I'm just searching for

The(the) right posture(.)(this means how you are posing your body. How you are sitting, standing, etc. Maybe you mean, 'approach' which means, in this case, 'how to begin to do something')

The right words and

The(the) right moment(.)

I felt guilty over a love I told('told' seems strange here. Not sure what you mean to say. Maybe 'didn't tell' or 'felt')....(...)

I may feel the same for this one (that) I'm slow to tell(recommend: 'say') oh baby(.)

I just don't happen to find the right way.(You could also say, 'I just can't find the right way.')

You may think I'm not really interested(.)

If only you knew the scene I ~~do(~~make) in front of my mirror oh baby(.)

I just don't happen to find the right way(.)(Another suggestion,'I just don't know the way.')

Interesting poem :) At the end of each line use a ',' or '.' and be sure to make the next line capital or lower case. You add 'oh baby' at the end of each line. I'm not sure the effect, maybe change to ', oh baby'. Intense emotion here, I like it. Let me know if you have any questions about my corrections.

-Jeff

In love but shy

Help me to make this correct

Shy

You yearn and I strive

And you start to wonder when should it finally be oh baby

I just don't happen to find the right way.

Baby I do know what I feel about you

I'm sure of my love for you

I'm just searching for

The right posture

The right words and

The right moment

I felt guilty over a love I told....

I may feel the same for this one I'm slow to tell oh baby

I just don't happen to find the right way.

You may think I'm not really interested

If only you knew the scene I do in front of my mirror oh baby

I just don't happen to find the right way

YOUR MOMS A HOE!!!!!

First of all, there is no "right" in poetry. Read a selection of William Carlos Williams' poetry and you'll see what I mean. I could provide an edited version that reflects my interpretation, but it might not completely capture the meaning that you want to convey.

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