Having learnt French for many many years, I can identify very well with many of the points you made here. I studied French at both school and university but I can say with confidence that I made the biggest progress after leaving university (and school). Based on this experience, I have arrived at a few general conclusions.
Firstly, formal classes at school/university are most certainly not a necessary component to succesful language learning. In fact, I would go as far as to say that formal lessons could be disadvantageous to some because of the "fixed" rate at which the language is taught (I think this is especially true for keener/more able students). I also very much agree with point no 2 of this article about taking a selective approach to vocab building; in classes you have to learn a lot of useless vocabularly in order to pass the exam. No offence to pedantics, but I also feel that the hours spent in class learning about minute details such as the extra "e" and "s" at the end of words, could have been much better spent learning focussing on expression and usage!
I also really agree with what is said about making language learning fun. My experience at school certainly wasn't, and I think it was because there was a gross deficit of "authentic" French as it is actually used. When I started to learn by myself with the use of videos, movies etc, I was far better able to grasp how the language is used to express ideas (eg apparently Francophones don't say: "Qu'êtes-vous en train de faire?"). So by having ample exposure to authentic French, I greatly improved my ability to express myself. It also had the effect of cementing grammar, and word genders thus saving me the hours I obviously would have spent relearning them!
:)