Why is everything so hard? At first I want to study in the UK coz she has classical breath, the other reason is it's much easier for me since I just need to get a enough mark in IELTS and follow the A-level system provided by my school. I know I could also apply for Canadian universities. As my fondness for Canada is getting stronger and stronger, I feel messy for I just know a little about the country and I don't have Canadian friends. Also, I guess if my parents knew my opinion, they would prefer me to go to America which means I need to prepare for TOEFL, SAT and AP (horrible!) . I don't think I have ability to take into account both of the two studying system. I need to make a decision now though there is still two years left, The worst thing is my English study is entering a "bottleneck period", I do not even know how to get over it! The second thing is about my hobbies. I used to do well in Chinese calligraphy, Chinese painting and piano but I haven't touch them for 4 years. Yesterday when I tried to review them, I feel really strange and weird coz I didn't even remember which kind of brush should be used to draw the outline! What's more, I still want to learn a new instrument like guitar or drum, I reaaaally want to travel in Turkey and Canada, I also want to read Chinese books when I soak in English-speaking world in my international high school coz I don't want to drop my culture, I want so much. However, I don't have enough time because of the coming IGCSE examination. I lose sleep everyday recently. I thought about too much things. Today I recalled my first dog, a siberian husky, who was be gave away by my father. I don't know which family she is living in, I don't know if she is happy now, I even dare not think about if she is alive. I'm so worried and sorry about her since I promised her I would keep her forever. What's wrong with me? Why is everything so hard? my friends, if you complete the article with full patience, I would say I really appreciate that. Thank you for abiding my complaints.

First notebook entry: Introducing myself Hello, I'm Carina, a 17-year old girl. I'm interested in British culture and will study in British university. I hope I can meet some new guys here and improve my English, of course I can teach you Chinese if you like. Actually, I know much about Chinese history. I like Avril and Damien Rice. I like reading books coz it makes me peaceful and farsighted. I've kept two dogs and I love them. Travelling is my favorite, oneday, maybe I can travel with you!