Hello everybody. Long time I've been thinking what themes should I chose for posting here. I don't want to share too much of my personal information, but I want my notes be corrected by native english speakers, so I've decided to translate or retell some pieces of any neutral information and today I want to communicate on theme connecting psychology. Are you interested in it? I am and if you are, do you use your knowledges in real life? Do you consider it to be a good guide in your life and personal relationships? Recently I faced a blog of one psychologist. Now I'll try to retell it in general. Here are basical positions: you need to have strong personal borders and you need to respect the borders of other people. If you confuse these things you have low self-esteem. It happens to many people. If you need someone's support or praise and approval - you have weak borders. Because adult people never need it, they have a control of self-assesment in themselves, and if they don't they need to be approved by others all the time. They are infantile and they aren't able to admit it because their mentality created defences in a shape of illusion of own importance and illusion that they have rights to wait and demand approvals of other people. And they need to feed these illusions otherwise they'll face the reality which is not so pleasant. This is just one of examples of defences which our mentality can create. Mentatily creates them because it's not pleasant to realize that you have a huge need in someone, in the illusion it seems that other people need, so it's clear that mentality does it for proctecting our self-assesment. But when do we need to protect something? Right, when it's weak. When it's weak ( self-esteem and social importance) a person needs another so badly that starts to appropriate him or he and identify them like they are one person or starts doing everything for others to give something for feeling himself or herself important. A healthy position of a person - he or she is independant, deal everytning only with condition of equal exchange. In this case it's personality. This was a short piece of her concept. It was something I wanted to share with you. Good luck to you all and normal self-esteem))