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Could you corret this writting where they're awkward,wrong or should be changed better How Worldcup affects people and society Thesedays no one could think Worldcup is just a sport competition. Because it has brought up massive impact to people’s lives as more than a festival. First of all, it has caused the economy over the world active and highlight. Every world cup season, are the streets inundated with products and stuff about Worldcup, and crowded with overseas tourists who have come to see and enjoy Worldcup. Moreover the games are broadcasted though the world, with the commercials of sponsorship companies. This has realized the host country of it to be succeeded in its very own arousing economy, so has the world with worldcup items. That’s the reason why each country tries to jump into it eager to get a chance to hold it as well as training their national teams. People have started getting enthusiastic at the star players, which made them sensational. No more they were only soccer players. The fans following them buy the uniforms, anything about. They’ve become as icons of their country as products of industry. Secondly, over the nations, religions, races, has it created atmosphere of peace. Apart from the result of the games, they have enjoyed themselves together. Getting to know about each other in good will and encouraging mutual understanding, the world is getting united as one. Although it was just a kind of sports at the beginning, but now they do believe that it is obvious they can find happiness on a match of playing a ball.

Answers · 2

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Aside from any grammar corrections, I personally think you could improve your argument. I tried not to add on to your points, because I would just be writing out my opinion and erasing your thoughts. Also, I cut out a couple sentences from your paragraph, because a.) It didn't not quite make sense to me b.) A couple of your sentences did not transition well, and it confused me on how that backs up your point. c.) It was unnecessary and you could write something better. It may just be me, so hopefully, someone else throws in their opinion on this. I'm sorry if my criticism is harsh. Hope that helps though. n_n
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Grammar corrections in your question: What you asked==> Could you corret this writting where they're awkward,wrong or should be changed better A better way to word your question. This is just one suggestion.==> Can you correct any awkwardness or errors in this paragraph? Can you show me a better way of writing it? ______________________________________________________ Now for the corrections in your paragraph... How the World Cup Affects People and Society (In your titles, usually in a essay or paper, you capitalize all the words except for articles (ex. and, or, the, &etc...).) Nowadays, no one would think the World Cup is just a sports competition, because it has brought a massive impact within people's very lives. First of all, it has caused the economies all over the world to be more active. Every World Cup season, the streets are inundated with World Cup products and tourists who have come to see and enjoy the World Cup. Moreover, the games are broadcasted globally with commercials of sponsoring companies, which promotes and benefits the host country greatly. Not only that, fans religiously keep up with the star players they admire by purchasing items for that particular team. Secondly, it has brought an atmosphere (or you could say "sense" or "ambiance") of peace regardless of their nationality, religion, or race. Apart from the results of the games, they have enjoyed themselves together. Getting to know about each other in good will and encouraging mutual understandings, the world is getting united as one.

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