are there any improvement on this article?
Nowadays, in the developed world, advanced health care technology enables people to live longer than before, realising the hope people had few hundred years ago that a family can have four or even five generations simultaneously. The increase of life expectancy, however, causes some problems for individuals and society.
Obviously, it results in ageing populations. For individuals, especially those working class, who have burdens of work to do, it is no doubt that the extra task to care about the elderly adds insults to injury. In addition, this problem has now become the heat discussed topic among governors. The increasing number of elderly will make limited health care industry resources more lacking and the proportion of elderly are changing the constituent of demography. That more people are growing older means that the labours will decrease, resulting in stagnant economy development and little desire of consuming.
To change this dilemma, some measures should be taken into practice. Given that individuals often find it hard to care the elderly by themselves, government can set up or improve the infrastructure in the community where elderly people can gather together, enabling them to enjoy their pastime life of retirement. Also, most elderly are not too old to do everything. Many elderly people, full of energy, do not like to hear of other people telling they are old. Maybe prolonging the retirement age is a plausible idea to slow down the lacking of labour. Known as a country with obvious ageing population, Japan witness a period when people are not interested in consuming. Instead, they storage their money in banks. So, the banks have declared the policy of sub-zero interest rate to stimulate the consuming and promote the economy.
Increasing average expectancy of population is an urgent problem in demography. As long as we have right and suitable reaction, we believe we can handle this.
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Answers · 1
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Hi,
Here are my comments:
1) Your first sentence is too long and can be shortened.
Nowadays, in the developed world, advanced health care technology enables people to live longer than before. It is now possible to realize the hope that people had a few hundred years ago, that a family can have four or even five generations simultaneously
2. People can't have "four or even five generations simultaneously" as this means they all happened to be born at the same time. I would rewrite it as "four or even five generations in a single lifetime"
3. The increase IN life expectancy
4. "Obviously, it results in ageing populations.". I would rewrite it as "The biggest problem would be ageing populations" as this sounds more natural.
There's a couple more corrections that need to be done here. Let me know if you're interested for me to go further.
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