patient: "doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!" doctor: "NEXT!"

The result of a Promise Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term? Son: I was learning to drive a car.

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure......

Tennis racket Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon? Mr.Smith: Yes. Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?

What do I get? Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get? Tommy: Quarters. Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again? Tommy: Hamburger.