After paying new year calls, children will receive the red packets presented by elders, which are wrapped with gift money. (4 ideas, 4 verb groups - paying, will receive, presented, are wrapped) While visiting relatives during the New Year holidays, children traditionally receive money in red envelopes. (2 ideas, 2 verb groups - visiting, receive) vocabulary problems after [probably incorrect - the children visit, they leave, then they receive money?] paying calls [incorrect] (better - visiting, paying a visit [literary], calling on [archaic], calling [incorrect]) presented [usually means a public presentation of an award] (better - given) elders [archaic] wrapped [incorrect] (better - contain?) grammar problems will receive (use the simple present for repeated or habitual actions) which are wrapped (dangling reference - the elders are wrapped with gift money?) other problems new year (proper nouns should be capitalized)

After paying their New-Year calls, .... red packets suggests that they contain gift-money. The gift-money is not on the outside, eight? You could say: gift-money wrapped in red packets.

thank you very much~

You might use " envelope " instead of packet. Such as red envelope. The word wrapped works but a better word might be containing gift money.