I see that you write with character, and I will give you some advice without changing too much the words you have chosen. "Not with all the soap in the world, not with all the cosmetics" is not technically correct, but you can use it. It sounds better and with more character than the correct "neither-nor"arrangement, and authors often write in such away, choosing to write with style rather than by the book. "He had been giving her a hard time." This sentence is in past tense, so you will want to continue it in past tense. You cannot say "She has had it". That's present tense. You should say, "She had had it." This is is Past Perfect tense and is correct and natural, like "He had had lunch already". Saying "had had" may sound strange to foreign speakers, but for native speakers it's a normal, every-day construction. Your part 3 is just a matter of preference. Except night/evening. Those are two different parts of the day. Evening always comes before night.

1. I would say the first one but word it like Not with all the soap in the world, nor with all the cosmetics, will these wrinkles ever go away 2. For the second one i would say: 'He had been giving her a hard time for a while now, and she was fed up and really gave it to him. 3. You generally say late at night "We chatted until late" is fine but you can say 'late into the night' "We danced late into the night" "We danced until night fell" is nice "We talked until early morning" "He slept until night/evening fell"

Please