Salam Claudia, ومادمت متأرجحة فقد أخليت أعماقي منه بغض النظر عن كل الأسباب التي ذكرتها آنفًا: .... And as long as I'm not sure/ confused/ uncertain/ undecided/ hesitant, I have cleared my depths from him regardless of all the reasons I've mentioned before. It sounds like a woman who wasn't sure about a man and even though she's still uncertain, but she already decided to get over him and remove him completely from her life, regardless of all the previous reasons she mentioned that could keep them together.

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته As long as i am hesitant , i emptied / cleared my bottom / insides from him .. regardless of any of these reasons i 've mentioned before.