PART #1 I am not a native speaker. Anyone could correct if there's an error on this speech?
I made a script for my video blog because it takes time for me to think and talk directly in the video.

"Today is the day that we're going to Cagayan de Oro city. My mother has scheduled to visit her doctor this week and that is the main reason why we're going to the city. Like I said in my first video, I plan to use this opportunity for my campaign by handing this fundraiser card to the people around the city.
---
We're now at the bus station and waiting for the next bus for Iligan City. So once we arrive in Iligan City, we will transfer another bus for Cagayan de Oro City."

(CONTINUE IN PART 2).......PART #1 I am not a native speaker. Anyone could correct if there's an error on this speech?

We've just arrived in a long travel.
So tomorrow, after mom's appointment, I will be distributing this cards in the mall. Hope this plan will work successfully...
--
It's 0:00 o'clock in the afternoon, I'm here at the exit door of the mall and trying to fight my shyness. I wish I have the guts to distribute the cards and I'm hoping they will read the message and support my fundraising campaign. Wish me luck!!
---
And guys, I finally distributed the cards. I really hope they can help by spreading the word and I wish I can have a new donor!
.. I'm going to end this video now, and I will make another video to update you guys! Thanks for watching and supporting! Bye!"

Thank you for correcting guys. :) TC

Question

PART #1 I am not a native speaker. Anyone could correct if there's an error on this speech?
I made a script for my video blog because it takes time for me to think and talk directly in the video.

"Today is the day that we're going to Cagayan de Oro city. My mother has scheduled to visit her doctor this week and that is the main reason why we're going to the city. Like I said in my first video, I plan to use this opportunity for my campaign by handing this fundraiser card to the people around the city.
---
We're now at the bus station and waiting for the next bus for Iligan City. So once we arrive in Iligan City, we will transfer another bus for Cagayan de Oro City."

(CONTINUE IN PART 2).......PART #1 I am not a native speaker. Anyone could correct if there's an error on this speech?

We've just arrived in a long travel.
So tomorrow, after mom's appointment, I will be distributing this cards in the mall. Hope this plan will work successfully...
--
It's 0:00 o'clock in the afternoon, I'm here at the exit door of the mall and trying to fight my shyness. I wish I have the guts to distribute the cards and I'm hoping they will read the message and support my fundraising campaign. Wish me luck!! 
---
And guys, I finally distributed the cards. I really hope they can help by spreading the word and I wish I can have a new donor!
.. I'm going to end this video now, and I will make another video to update you guys! Thanks for watching and supporting! Bye!"

Thank you for correcting guys. :) TC

Answer

Hello my friend. Here we go...

"Today is the day that we're going to Cagayan de Oro city. My mother has scheduled to visit her doctor this week and that is the main reason why we're going to the city. Like I said in my first video, I plan to use this opportunity for my campaign by handing in this fundraiser card to the people around the city.
---
We're now at the bus station and waiting for the next bus for Iligan City. So once we arrive in Iligan City, we will get a transfer to Cagayan de Oro City."

It has been a long trip and we have just arrived.
So tomorrow, after mom's appointment, I will be handing in these cards at the mall. I hope this plan works successfully...
--
It's 0:00 o'clock in the afternoon, I'm here at the exit door of the mall and trying to fight my shyness. I wish I had the guts to distribute the cards and I hope they read the message and support my fundraising campaign. Wish me luck!! 
---
And guys, I finally handed in the cards. I really hope they can help me by spreading the word and I wish I can have a new donor!
.. I'm going to end this video now, and I will make another video to update you guys! Thanks for watching and supporting! Bye!"

Marvelous job! Congrats!

Answers · 2

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