Can you help me with the gramatical mistakes of my essay?
Hi everyone, I am doing a essay which is about Why being a kid is better than being a adult.
I already have finished my first body parragraph thanks some Italki's users that help me.
This is the draft of my second body parragraph:

A captivating fact of being a kid is the almost non-existent of responsibilities. On the contrary, Adults have a lot of responsibilities. Your responsibilities as a kid were few and simple. You basically were forced by your mom to make your bed, sweep the floor and do dishes rarely. You have to admit kids live in a heaven, but they aren’t aware of this. On the other hand, Adults has a lot of responsibilities, for example, when you are an adult, you have to clean the house, tidy the rooms, mop the floor, make the beds, do the shopping, take the rubbish out, do the ironing, make breakfast, make lunch, make dinner and believe me. There are more chores to do.

Thanks to spend your time reading and help me. :D

Question

Can you help me with the gramatical mistakes of my essay?
Hi everyone, I am doing a essay which is about Why being a kid is better than being a adult. 
I already have finished my first body parragraph thanks some Italki's users that help me.
This is the draft of my second body parragraph:

A captivating fact of being a kid is the almost non-existent of responsibilities. On the contrary, Adults have a lot of responsibilities. Your responsibilities as a kid were few and simple. You basically were forced by your mom to make your bed, sweep the floor and do dishes rarely. You have to admit kids live in a heaven, but they aren’t aware of this. On the other hand, Adults has a lot of responsibilities, for example, when you are an adult, you have to clean the house, tidy the rooms, mop the floor, make the beds, do the shopping, take the rubbish out, do the ironing, make breakfast, make lunch, make dinner and believe me. There are more chores to do.

Thanks to spend your time reading and help me. :D

Answer

Thank you so much Cathy :)
The word "albeit" I have never seen in a text,but now I learnt a new word.

Answer

I made suggestions in [ ] and changed a few things:) 
A captivating fact [about] being a kid is the almost non-existent responsibilities. On the contrary, adults have a lot of responsibilities. Your responsibilities as a kid were few and simple. You basically were forced by your mom to make your bed, sweep the floor and do dishes, [albeit] rarely. You have to admit, kids live in heaven, but they aren’t aware of this. On the other hand, adults have a lot of responsibilities, for example, when you are an adult, you have to clean the house, tidy the rooms, mop the floor, make the beds, do the shopping, take the rubbish [garbage] out, do the ironing, make breakfast, make lunch, make dinner and believe me, there are more chores to do.

Answer

ok, I'll do it

Answer

Write as a italki "notebook" entry to make it  easier to correct/make comments.

Answers · 4

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