Please estimate the translation to english
My daughter's made the translation of the Russian song to English.
I ask native English people to estimate it. Not as a translation but as a poem. I'm interesting is it possible and good to say like this:

All scared stiff, grand piano
Used to play fugue, now he is ‘trembling with fear
But it doesn't matter. la-la-la-la-la
I'm playing the piano all day long, won't you believe,
Should believe, must believe, have to believe.

I know it is hard, but don’t mind it
New style is update and you need to find it
For I love jazz immensely, I like to dance to it
And everything I’ve said is true, won't you believe,
Should believe, must believe, have to believe.

When I’m touching the keys of the piano
The things are getting so fine and so marvelous
I hope you will be with me for long time
You’re just the best friend of mine

Question

Please estimate the translation to english
My daughter's made the translation of the Russian song to English. 
I ask native English people to estimate it. Not as a translation but as a poem. I'm interesting is it possible and good to say like this:

All scared stiff, grand piano
Used to play fugue, now he is ‘trembling with fear
But it doesn't matter. la-la-la-la-la
I'm playing the piano all day long, won't you believe,
Should believe, must believe, have to believe.

I know it is hard, but don’t mind it
New style is update and you need to find it
For I love jazz immensely, I like to dance to it
And everything I’ve said is true, won't you believe,
Should believe, must believe, have to believe. 

When I’m touching the keys of the piano
The things are getting so fine and so marvelous
I hope you will be with me for long time
You’re just the best friend of mine

Answer

The translation seems to be a good one. The only suggestion I would make is "THE new style is UPDATED..."

Answers · 1

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