Below would be much better. I assumed that by the festival "will come", you meant that it would occur soon. Also, you might wish to replace the more common "great" (or good) in the final sentence with your original "happy" if you had meant precisely that. It's sunny today in Chon Qing. I'm eating my breakfast, which includes a bread called "毛毛虫". Don't you think it's a lovely name? The Spring Festival will soon be here. It's the biggest festival in China and loved by its people. We'll celebrate this special day in many ways. The biggest Spring Festival fans are children because they get money from parents or someone else call "压岁钱". And, for adults, the Spring Festival offers seven days of rest. For the Spring Festival, my parents have promised to buy me an iPhone 5s -- it's amazing! After I finish writing my essay, I'll shop on taobao for fun. Have a great day!

Before I get to the specific corrections, let me address a general error. When using punctuation like the period (.) and comma (,), the punctuation is placed at the end of the word separating two clauses. Example: Hello, how are you. Study the sentence above. Note the position of the punctuation. The comma directly follows the greeting "Hello" and the space comes after the comma. Punctuation comes before the space. Once again, I tried to preserve the sense of your composition but I was uncertain what you were trying to say in some of the sentences. I did my best. Today in Chongqing, it is a sunny day. I am eating my breakfast. It's a bread which is called "毛毛虫". Don't you think it's a lovely name? Spring festival day, which is the biggest festival in china is coming. We will have many methods of celebrating this special day. Children are the biggest fans of spring festival because they will get some money from their parents or somebody else. In chinese they are called "压岁钱". As for adults, they take 7 days of vacation. In addition, the chinese love spring festival and I do too, of course. For spring festival, my parents promised to buy me an iPhone5s. It's amazing. After I finish my composition, I will go shopping on taobao for fun. I wish you all of you a happy day.