1. Many accommodations were made for the guests. 2. That's good. 3. Good. 4. Good, but sounds "snobby". Common language: "I found out that something was stopping my car from starting". 5. The rate of pizza delivery declined drastically due to the bankruptcies of several chain pizza stores. 6. Jura's is perfect

Correction: Disgusted by all the atrocities, the commissioner ordered the police department to take action.

Many accommodations were given for guests. > The guests were accommodated accordingly. > The guests were given full accommodation. > I am highly doubtful that you can even use "many accommodations" in general... Marc has to reword his thesis since it doesn't have the meaning he wants it to have. > Marc has to redo his thesis since it lacks the meaning that he wanted it to have. Many of the savages are devoid of emotions. > good enough > A great number of the savages are devoid of emotions. I found out that something must have hindered the ignition of my engine. > good! Due to bankruptcy in the chain pizza stores, the rate of pizza delivery dropped down drastically. > The pizza delivery rate went down drastically due to the bankruptcy of pizza chains. In disgust of all of atrocities, the commissioner ordered the police department to take action. > good!