Are there any mistakes. Please help me.
It is argued that prevention reaps multitudinous benefits to the society. Besides, it is believed that treatment is a cost-effective way to reduce the family expenditures, especially when it is cured in the early stages before being late. Firstly, by preventing chronic and perilous diseases, individuals can save more money, because gradually if they postpone their treatment, the cost of it will intensify. Secondly, saving more money by different society's inhabitants means injecting more money into different economic sectors; because individuals can either invest their extra revenue and income stream into different profitable projects which is also beneficial for the government or pay more taxes to the government. Finally, government has sufficient supply and resource to provide a better living conditions, well-being, amenities and welfare for its residents. As a result, the standard of living, hygiene and sanitation level will rise in the society. All of these approaches can inhibit spreading of disease.

Question

Are there any mistakes. Please help me. 
It is argued that prevention reaps multitudinous benefits to the society. Besides, it is believed that treatment is a cost-effective way to reduce the family expenditures, especially when it is cured in the early stages before being late. Firstly, by preventing chronic and perilous diseases, individuals can save more money, because gradually if they postpone their treatment, the cost of it will intensify. Secondly, saving more money by different society's inhabitants means injecting more money into different economic sectors; because individuals can either invest their extra revenue and income stream into different profitable projects which is also beneficial for the government or pay more taxes to the government. Finally, government has sufficient supply and resource to provide a better living conditions, well-being, amenities and welfare for its residents. As a result, the standard of living, hygiene and sanitation level will rise in the society. All of these approaches can inhibit spreading of disease.

Answer

It is difficult to correct answers

replace multitudinous with many (keep it simple).
"it is believed" is very stilted - who believes ?
believed that treatment  -> believed that preventative treatment
change "more money" to money - you have not talked about any other ways so there is no "more".
If you prevent something, you don't have to to treat so that sentence should be
Firstly, by preventing chronic and perilous diseases, individuals can save  money, because there is no costly  treatment to postpone.

Finally government has sufficient resources to provide better living conditions, provide for  their citizens' well being, amenities and resources

Answer

It is argued that prevention reaps multitudinous benefits to society. Besides, it is believed that treatment is a cost-effective way to reduce the family expenditure, especially when it is cured in the early stages rather than later. Firstly, by preventing chronic and perilous diseases, individuals can save more money, because if they choose to postpone their treatment, the cost will intensify. Secondly, saving more money by society's different inhabitants means injecting more money into different economic strata; because individuals can either invest their extra revenue and income into different profitable projects which can also be beneficial for the government as citizens pay more taxes to the government. Finally, government has a sufficient supply and resource to provide a better living conditions, well-being, amenities and welfare for its residents. As a result, the standard of living, hygiene and sanitation level will rise in the society. All of these approaches can also inhibit the spread of disease.

Answer

Not the family expenditures, BUT family expenditure
OR
the families expenditures

before being late* rather than later.

different society's inhabitants* societies different inhabitants

finally government* the government

sufficient supply and resource * sufficient supplies and resources

sanitation level * sanitation levels

can inhibit spreading* can inhibit the spreading

Answers · 5

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