Hi! can anyone check my verse? does it have right to be?
You are sitting in silence in front of me
Not smoking, but pretending rather.
You are my old and good enemy,
And my consanguineous brother.
Like Bosporus that binds two seas
Istanbulian night has bound
Two separate hearts to be
With each other forever around.
Was it a Byzantine Gods’ agreement
Or just a blind fate’s drift?
May be I am your cruel punishment,
May be an incredible gift.
So close and so far from me
Are your deep and brown eyes.
-Do you live on European?
-Yes.
-But me - on Asian side.
Search from various English teachers...
Answers · 3
1
Firstable your post was great! Secondable you should use maybe instead of may be! I think in your last paragraph you should have written: being so close or being so far from me is like your deep and brown eyes to me. Do you live in Europe? Yes. But me, in the Asian side. :D
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