A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out. The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace." The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

Humor does not translate well, but I'll try. A blond walks by McDonald's and goes in the door. By mistake, she walks into the library next to the McDonald's. She goes up to the librarian and says in a loud voice "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries and a coke!" The librarian is says angrily in a low voice "My dear, this is a library! Please keep your voice down!" The girl looks around and then whispers "Sorry...I'd like a cheeseburger, fries...."