Poor style
I am writing an essay about a film and in one part I mention the following ideas:

'This will be the beginning of a serious of misunderstandings regarding his religious affiliation, connecting him with terrorism and facing several interrogations and rejections.'

I know there are too many -ing forms and this implies a poor style. I would like to know how I can improve these sentences. Thank you!

Question

Poor style
I am writing an essay about a film and in one part I mention the following ideas:

'This will be the beginning of a serious of misunderstandings regarding his religious affiliation, connecting him with terrorism and facing several interrogations and rejections.'

I know there are too many -ing forms and this implies a poor style. I would like to know how I can improve these sentences. Thank you!

Answer

Some tips:

-It's "a *series* of misunderstandings", not "serious". You could also describe this situation with the term, "a comedy of errors".
-To avoid the "-ing" construction, you could start by changing "regarding" with "in regards to" or "with respect to." That would allow for a more noun-based structure, i.e.:

"This will the beginning/set off a comedy of errors with respect to his religious affiliation and his association with terrorism, subjecting him to (face) several interrogations and rejections."

Answer

'This will be the beginning of a series of misunderstandings regarding his religious affiliation, his connections with terrorism and the several interrogations and rejections he must face.'

Also, at the beginning of the sentence you wrote "serious", I think you meant "series" :)

Answer

This will start several mix ups over his religious loyalties, tie him to terrorism, and he will face several trials and rejections.

Answers · 6

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