I have corrected errors and proposed alternate phrasings below. Also, I believe the name of the early social networking site was Friendster (note "-ster"). * "However, technical problem was the crucial reason why Friendster was succumbed to his new rivals, thus, new websites have become more popular among users." Many issues: 1) connecting two ideas with a simple "thus". 2) "his" -> "its", 3) "technical problem" is singular without an article, 4) "succumb to" is not used in passive voice, and 5) it mentioning the reason for something before saying the actual thing. (one way to fix it) - However serious technical problems made Friendster lose out to its new rivals which rapidly replaced it and became popular among the users. * "One of this network is Myspace, that was launched in 2003, offering ..." => "One of these new networking sites was Myspace, which was launched in 2003 offering ...". * "It did so by tempting the key young adult demographic with music, videos". => "It achieved this by attracting the key young adult demographic with its music and video offerings". * "As a consequence, the level of using this website declined dramatically. => As a consequence of relying too much on these narrow areas, its user base eventually declined dramatically. * "The next successful social network is Facebook, that was launched in 2004." => ("that" may not be used after a comma to add additional information) * "It has a great number of advantages. In other words, every new social website has more and more options in order to fully involve people's mind in it." => It had a number of new useful features. So it seems each new generation of social websites offered increasingly wider array of features to take a greater mindshare of their users. * "Everything started with searching new friends and ended up as "living" on the Internet." => Social networking started with (humble) new friend searches and ended up as the primary way to hang out on the Internet.

Exactly.

I think this sort of thing is best as a Notebook... so it can get corrected, rather than 'answered'.