I write a bucolic poem, would anyone please help me touching it up?
Here is the first part of my peom, and the rest of it will be issued tomorrow.
Skies signal early autumn; Skies signal early autumn.
Winds gentle yet metal sharp.
In hazy villages beyond city walls and painted bridges,
Summer’s fiery heat retreats,
Gentle coolness breeds.
Drizzling rain wets my cloak.
As painted barge steers toward the fairy isles.
Search from various English teachers...
Answers · 6
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Did you mean breeds (like different dog breeds) or breeze (as in light wind)? Either way, I think breathes would be really nice here. Gentle coolness breathes. It sounds rather sensuous. I really like it otherwise. : )
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There is some good stuff here. My personal views are:
a) you could think about other expressive synonyms for "signal" and "wet"
b) "coolness breeds" does not conjure up any satisfying idea or image for me
c) "painted barge" sounds like a specific one so I would add an article if you mean just one barge
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