I need some suggestions! i'M not sure how to write the last paragraph of my speech.
I'm writing a composition about pursuing my dream. But I'm not sure whether this sentence is correct or not.
Is this correct? Are there any grammar problems?

Steve Jobs said “Don’t let the voice of others drown out your own inner voice.” Although few people choose it as a career, and though it may be difficult for me to overcome the difficulties on the way, I still want to pursue my dream. For I know that I will hear the clapping sound from my own heart.

If it is not, PLEASE give me some suggestions on how to express this.

Thank you very much!!

Question

I need some suggestions! i'M not sure how to write the last paragraph of my speech.
I'm writing a composition about pursuing my dream. But I'm not sure whether this sentence is correct or not.
Is this correct? Are there any grammar problems?

Steve Jobs said “Don’t let the voice of others drown out your own inner voice.” Although few people choose it as a career, and though it may be difficult for me to overcome the difficulties on the way, I still want to pursue my dream. For I know that I will hear the clapping sound from my own heart.

If it is not, PLEASE give me some suggestions on how to express this.

Thank you very much!!

Answer

All of the text looks to be grammatically correct.

Answer

One suggestion: "the clapping sound from my own heart" makes me think of a medical problem.  You could replace "the clapping sound" with "the applause", "the adulation" or even "a standing ovation".

Answer

It seems grammatically correct. But I would suggest changing one sentence. ...'and though it may be difficult for me to overcome the difficulties on the way, ...", you repeat the usage of the word difficult. Maybe say something like "and I may come across difficult obstacles along the way..."??

Answers · 6

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