I wrote a little poem. Is it correct?
I wrote a little poem. Is it correct?
Remember me I used to be,
That way you liked I am…
Forget all that you shouldn’t see
But I’m not angel, what’s the Eden?
I will be perfect in your dreams
But in the real I’m still myself,
With all my faults, with all my freaks,
If can you take me after that?
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Answers · 5
3
Nice, Aiforia ^,~
I think that It's better to change the first two sentences into:
" Remember who I used to be,
The way you liked I was..."
3
Remember me I used to be, (How about: Remember me as I used to be_)
That way you liked I am… (That way you liked who I was...)
Forget all that you shouldn’t see
But I’m not angel, what’s the Eden? (But I'm not an angel, What is Eden?)
I will be perfect in your dreams
But in the real I’m still myself, (But in reality, I 'm still myself)
With all my faults, with all my freaks, (with all my faults, with all my weirdness)
If can you take me after that? (Could you take me after all that)
0
Remember me how I used to be:
The way you liked me (to be)
Forget all that you shouldn’t see
As I’m not angel, this is not the Eden.
I will be perfect in your dreams
But in the real world I’m still myself,
With all my faults, with all my freakishness;
If can you take me after that?
0
Nice.
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