I need a help with this text
Could you check for any mistakes, please?

Emma could not believe what she saw in front of her. She was standins next to the door of her house paralysed by fear.

Twister came closer and closer, and there was no way to escape. Young waitress was so scared, that she froze motionless. Only thought in her mind was "I will die, help me!", but there was nobody who could save her from big, speeding tornado. She completely did not know what to do.

After a while Emma noticed, that other people from her neighbour were standing tranquil and peaceful. Nobody had a fear in their eyes. They were holding each other's hands and repeating wierd words, something like "wa sa". Emma did not know what was going on.

Suddenly somebody called her "Come here and cast tornado out with us!". Young waitress were not well-knowed in that little town, so she was surprised, that people spoted her. She approached them and caught other's hands. She did not understand why, but she felt like a member of a great community. After a few minutes there was no trace of the twister. It was magical and inconceivable for Emma, but she was over the moon. She had not died. She was alive.

Question

I need a help with this text
Could you check for any mistakes, please?

Emma could not believe what she saw in front of her. She was standins next to the door of her house paralysed by fear.

Twister came closer and closer, and there was no way to escape. Young waitress was so scared, that she froze motionless. Only thought in her mind was "I will die, help me!", but there was nobody who could save her from big, speeding tornado. She completely did not know what to do.

After a while Emma noticed, that other people from her neighbour were standing tranquil and peaceful. Nobody had a fear in their eyes. They were holding each other's hands and repeating wierd words, something like "wa sa". Emma did not know what was going on.

Suddenly somebody called her "Come here and cast tornado out with us!". Young waitress were not well-knowed in that little town, so she was surprised, that people spoted her. She approached them and caught other's hands. She did not understand why, but she felt like a member of a great community. After a few minutes there was no trace of the twister. It was magical and inconceivable for Emma, but she was over the moon. She had not died. She was alive.

Answer

Please post it in Notebook

Answer

I will only correct the 2nd paragraph, because you make some very major, noticeable mistakes.

First of all, you forget to use the article "the" in front of the nouns you use to begin the first two sentences: "THE twister cam closer and closer. There was no way to escape. THE young waitress was so scared that she froze, motionless. THE only thought in her mind was, "I'll die! Help me," but there was no one WHO could save her from THE gigantic, swirling tornado. She had no idea what to do."    This is American style English, fyi. (for your information)

Answer

It would be better to post text of this length in the Notebook section.  It has tools and a format which makes it much better suited to correct this sort of entry.

Answers · 3

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