I could give a clearer correction in Notepad, but here goes... I have a degree in business economics, and am very interested in improving my experience in the taxation and legal consulting sphere. I am enterprising and keen to learn new skills. I study and speak English more for professional requirements than for my own passion. I am available to move to the UK immediately. I look forward to your response. Yours sincerely, The basic notes I can give are: firstly, pay attention to your formal style. In a business (especially a legal) context, a casual style of expression damages your credibility. Aside from that, please double-check new words before using them. I could see you threw in a few words without fully understanding them. Good luck.