Corrections · 9
Please check my English sentences.
Yesterday, I got into on my friend's car for the a first time.It was cloudy at first on the starting. But it turned changed sunny after leaving the tunnel.
We talked about an actor and each other's jobs while we were driving. got in the car.
Then, we ate from a limited time lunch menu.
These menus were all in the shape of shapes in Mt Fuji.
Please check my English sentences.
Yesterday, I got on my friend's car for a first time.It was cloudy on the starting. But it changed sunny after leaving the tunnel.
We talked about an actor and each other's job while got in the car.
Then, we ate a limited time lunch menu.
These menus were all shapes in Mt Fuji.
Hi, Hiro. I may be able to help though I've never taught anyone English before. I am a native speaker and will do my best to help. I'll talk about the 2 sentences that really stuck out and give you the best information I have for them.
It was cloudy on the starting. This sentence leaves the reader wondering the question "What was starting?" You can answer that with "It was cloudy at the start of our day," or ,"It was cloudy when we started driving." That way the sentence gives the reader the missing information that wasn't included. You can even follow this sentenced with your next one; "It was cloudy when we headed into the tunnel." Do your best to include more information with your sentences. Giving the reader a place and a time helps to help convey a more detailed sentence.
But it changed sunny after leaving the tunnel. With this sentence you started with the a conjunction. In most native conversation you can do this, but it's unnecessary for this one. Instead, try using sequence adverbs, words that help the reader understand time and the sequence of events happening in your writing. For example: after, when, finally, next. For your sentence I would use, "After we left the tunnel it was sunny." or "When we finally left the tunnel it was sunny."
Oh! I have a big tip for you, one told to me by my own English teacher. Express how the events in this story made you feel. When writing or talking in English conveying how something made you feel or your opinion on the matter makes the conversation more real. Its a big advance in your writing and speaking skills, but keeping that tip in mind will help give your conversations more impact. For example, "These menus were all shapes in Mt Fuji. I thought that was super cool." Giving the reading a sense of who you are is never a bad thing when speaking English.
Please check my English sentences.
Yesterday, I got IN my friend's car for THE first time.It was cloudy at the beginning. But it BECAME sunny after leaving the tunnel.
We talked about an actor and each other's job while got in the car.
Then, we ate a limited time [? I'm not sure what this means...] lunch menu.
These menus were all KINDS (?) in Mt Fuji.
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