Which translation is better for native speakers?
I'm practicing E-C translation. It's quite tricky because I don't know if my translation make sense to native speakers.
The first one is my original answer. The second one is a revised version after I checked the model answer. The third one is the model answer.
1. As night falls, thousands of lanterns along the bank as well as the sky were lightened up, illuminating the small town and lighting the way home for locals.
2. As night falls, thousands of lanterns along the river, together with the sky glowed by sunset, make a dazzingly bright town, lighting up the way home for locals.
3. At dusk, thousands of lanterns along the river are jioned by sunset glow to make for a brightly lit town, lighting up the way home for locals.
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Corrections · 4
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* They all make sense to me except maybe the first one which specifies bank but doesn't say the bank of what. It could be a river, lake or other body of water. 'river bank' would fix that. 'Lightened up' is totally understandable to me but sounds less natural than 'lit up'.
Although much of the third is more natural sounding and the phrases should eventually be used, the meaning to me is still totally clear in #1 and #2 (except for bank in #1)
Which translation is better for native speakers?
I'm practicing E-C translation. It's quite tricky because I don't know if my translation make sense to native speakers.
The first one is my original answer. The second one is a revised version after I checked the model answer. The third one is the model answer.
1. As night falls, thousands of lanterns along the bank as well as the sky were lightened up, illuminating the small town and lighting the way home for locals.
2. As night falls, thousands of lanterns along the river, together with the sky glowed by sunset, make a dazzingly bright town, lighting up the way home for locals.
3. At dusk, thousands of lanterns along the river are jioned by sunset glow to make for a brightly lit town, lighting up the way home for locals.
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They all make sense to me but have slightly different meanings depending on what you're trying to convey
1. The point about the glow from the sunset combining with the lanterns wasn't clear
2. I would replace 'together with the sky glowed by sunset' with 'joined by the sunset glow'. --> As night falls, thousands of lanterns along the river, joined by the sunset glow, make a dazzingly bright town, lighting up the way home for locals.
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