a personal statement I chose to study medicine at the age of 19. At that time, I didn’t know much about medical knowledges or clinical procedures. I wasn’t sure which part of medicine I wanted to comm

Search from various English teachers...

Jodi

a personal statement I chose to study medicine at the age of 19. At that time, I didn’t know much about medical knowledges or clinical procedures. I wasn’t sure which part of medicine I wanted to commit meself to. However, that all changed the day I stepped into the Internal Medicien Department of Peking University People’s Hospital. Everyday after rounds, attendings would show us some completed cases and we discussed the differential diagnoses together. I felt totally absorbed in the amazing world of medicine everytime . Using all kinds of materials to figure out a problem is always exciting. For example, there was once a male patient with cough and chest pain. CXR showed bilateral pleural effusion with pericardial effusion and atelectasis of the right lobe. His PSA was 4 times higher than normal 2 years ago. At first we focused on the pulmonary symptoms with litter attention on his PSA level. Then the teacher reminded us that bilateral pleural effusion was uncommon in pulmonary diseases especially when combined with pericardial effusion. It’s more likely to be something else’s fault instead of lung itself. At last, after some afterward examinations, we finally confirmed it a metastasized prostate cancer. The case impressed me most because it broke my conventional thought pattern, and reminded me to pay attention to the details. People who get cough are not all because of something wrong with the lung. As doctors we are supposed to be considerate. We need to analyze the symptoms and the examinations step by step, and the answer is always hide in them Now I have the opportunity to apply for clerkships in the University of Alabama at Birmingham, which has been well recognized. Its extensive experience in treating difficult conditions, high degree of expertise in comprehensive as well as marvelous teaching for medical students make learning and working in UAB a dream of mine. I appreciate your support and generosity in taking the time to read and consider my application and I am looking forward to getting enrolled in your programs.

Corrections · 4

*** This is a very nice story; good luck with being a doctor. :)

*** Overall, it is very well written. I see only a couple of things for such a long and technical story.

*** I generally would avoid ending a sentence with a preposition such as 'to', or 'with'. 'I wasn't sure to which part of medicine I wanted to commit myself'. That fixes it.

*** Good luck at Birmingham; I worked in Atlanta for several years, close by; there is a Nasa rocket facility north of Birmingham which I should have visited and toured. Atlanta is very nice, too. You could do that if it interests you. :)

*** This letter seems very important and although I am ok at proofreading, I am not an expert and the more eyes on it, the better. Good luck! :-)

*** In the US, methodical is much more widely used; in this country, considerate is more commonly used concerning emotion, when a person is understanding of another's feeling and reacts in an appropriate manner. I'm not sure about other countries such as Australia or England.

a personal statement

I chose to study medicine at the age of 19. At that time, I didn’t know much about medical knowledges or clinical procedures. I wasn’t sure to which part of medicine I wanted to commit myself to. However, that all changed the day I stepped into the Internal ~~Medicien~~ Medicine Department of Peking University People’s Hospital. Every day after rounds, attendings would show us some completed cases, and we discussed the differential diagnoses together. I felt totally absorbed in the amazing world of medicine, every time . Using all kinds of materials to figure out a problem is always exciting.

For example, there was once a male patient with cough and chest pain. CXR showed bilateral pleural effusion with pericardial effusion and atelectasis of the right lobe. His PSA was 4 times higher than normal 2 years ago. At first we focused on the pulmonary symptoms with ~~litter~~ little attention on his PSA level. Then the teacher reminded us that bilateral pleural effusion was uncommon in pulmonary diseases especially when combined with pericardial effusion. It’s more likely to be something else’s fault instead of lung itself. At last, after some afterward examinations, we finally confirmed it a metastasized prostate cancer. The case impressed me most because it broke my conventional thought pattern, and reminded me to pay attention to the details. People who get a cough are not all because of something wrong with the lung. As doctors, we ~~are supposed to be considerate~~ must be methodical. We need to analyze the symptoms and the examinations, step by step, and the answer is always ~~hide~~ hiding in them.

Now I have the opportunity to apply for clerkships at in the University of Alabama at Birmingham, which has been well recognized. Its extensive experience in treating difficult conditions, high degree of expertise in comprehensive care as well as marvelous teaching for medical students make learning and working in UAB a dream of mine.

I appreciate your support and generosity in taking the time to read and consider my application and I am looking forward to getting enrolled in your programs.

A personal statement

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today