Correct my entry please. Wonder part 2
Hi. This the last part of my entry named "Wonder".
Correct my entry please.
So finally Auggie went to school. At first he was always alone in school because of his unusal face. But he found some good natured friends soon. They didn't bother him anymore and they have accepted that he is a kid like others.
I was assuming what did I do if I was instead of Auggie and I found that encountering this issue is really hard and you have to be extremely powerful.
Thanks this movie for remembering me that judging people by their face, their name, color of their skin,... is totally wrong and not fair because they had no authority for choosing them.
Thanks for your correction.
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1
Correct my entry please. Wonder part 2
Hi. This the last part of my entry named "Wonder".Correct my entry please.
So finally Auggie went to school. At first he was always alone in school because of his unusal face. But he found some good natured friends quickly. They didn't bother him anymore and they have accepted that he is a kid like others. (Here it's unclear to me who "they" are. Do you mean the new friends he just made, or the schoolchildren in general? It might make more sense if I had the whole passage of "Wonder", but if I'm only reading this section I don't know who "they" are)
I was (wondering/curious) what would I do if I was Auggie and I found that encountering this issue is really hard and you have to be extremely powerful.
(This is confusing here because it's mixing the past tense and current tense. First you have the past tense, then you are using the present tense in the same sentence. I recommend keeping either the past tense or current tense.)
(I appreciate) this movie for reminding me that judging people by their face, their name, color of their skin,... is totally wrong and not fair because (a single person has no ability in choosing these features.)
Thanks for your correction.
EXPLANATION:. This would be improved by being consistent with which tense you are using. I understand that you must be discussing a movie, and you are wondering how you would react/be/do if you were Auggie. However it's a bit hard to follow with the tenses. Good job though, I think I understood what points you were trying to make!! Also, remember that when you use "they" the reference to who they are needs to be nearby.
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