Hello Kelvin, thank you for correcting. It really helped me.

Dear Yuu, As someone with a Recruitment background, my first piece of advice would be to shorten your cover letter. Hiring Managers receive so many CVs that they do not read long cover letters. Your cover letter needs to give them a reason to read your CV, not repeat what is in it. The best cover letter I ever received had two short paragraphs, and was not even written in perfect English. Try to get a name. “Dear Hiring Manager” is quite impersonal. If you address the email to a person, it is better. Some feedback on the grammar and vocabulary in your letter. (I can’t correct everything here): We don’t day “I often mind”. I think you want to say: “I look after customers and I enjoy talking with them and my colleagues.” In general, if you use customer in singular, you need to use an article: a/the (a/the customer). 3rd paragraph (Performance)… “…, they look like they are really enjoying working there.” This paragraph in general needs some revision. The good thing is, any native speaker should know what you want to say, which is important in communication. I have a training programme delivered via italki that is focused on interview coaching in English, and I would be happy to help you. I train candidates through the whole process, from cover letters, their CV, through to interview preparation and interview training. Good luck with your job search! Kind regards Kelvin