Corrections · 4
Job interview introduction
(Is this a live, in-person, face-to-face 生活,面对面 interview, or an introductory letter? If it's in-person, "sir/madam" is not necessary).
Good morning,sir/madam. I'm glad to have this interview opportunity to meet with you. My name is Monica and I'm 23 years old. I come from Meizhou, Guangdong. I graduated from Guangdong university of foreign studies. My major is foreign secretary,*
I have an open mind, like to make new friends, I am easy to get along with. In my spare time, I do yoga in the gym, and I've been doing it for 3 years.**
Last year I worked*** in a wedding dress factory in Zhongshan. My job is overseas sales and I am responsible for contacting foreign customers to buy wedding dresses and managing Alibaba's official website and SNS social network accounts. Receive customers from abroad at the factory****
Last July, my team and I attended the Shanghai wedding dress exhibition, which is a very important exhibition, we invited customers from all over the world to attend, and received many orders. My results are $450,000*****
I like enjoyed my last job, and my clients also recognize appreciated my work. But in my last job, I didn't have a worker who followed the progress of production. I had to spend a lot of time checking the production, which reduced my time to develop new customers. So I choose to leave, I want to find a new position related in the wedding dress foreign trade work field, which would allow let me to have more time to develop customer relations, and improve performance,
All my efforts now is to interview with you here, please give me a job opportunity, I will give you a surprise.******Thank you!
* ". . . university of foreign studies. My major is foreign secretary" - this is a little awkward. If you give me more details, I can help you find better language.
** This is excellent. Very natural.
*** We have a verb-tense problem. "Worked" is past-tense. But "my job is" is present-tense. You can say "For the past year, I have worked in a wedding dress factory. . . " if you want to keep it present. But if not, then change the next part to "My job was in overseas sales, and I was responsible . . ."
**** This sentence is not grammatical.
***** Better would be "I was personally responsible for accepting $450,000 in orders."
****** This last sentence is a little awkward. Maybe a better way to say it is "I am very excited about this interview, and I hope you'll give me an opportunity to work with you. I really think you'll be surprised by my performance."
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