Workplaces in the future (formal)
In the future, many jobs will be created because the development of technology, for instance star ships production or hologram progress will require new jobs and workplaces where we can carry through with them.
In the one hand, the creation of new facilities to work could be easier than in the past because we will have made tools good enough to make the workplaces durable and protected. It’s an advantage utterly useful because the workforce will be more comfortably settled in and they will be more productive if they work under these circumstances.
In the other hand, workplaces are going to be quite different from the way we have know them at the moment. The presence of robots will be frequently instead of workforce; therefore, this way of production will be unfortunately at stake. It’s a huge problem to keep in mind because this revolutionary change might generate by far more tension than expected. By the future era, robots will have been adapted to the new modern workplaces and all the elements that become part of them.
To sum up, innovative technology will influence new types of workplaces. This will provoke a complete reorganization of the structure of the places or the inclusion of complex workforce, for instance, robots.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 2
1
Workplaces in the future (formal)
In the future, many jobs will be created because of ("due to") the development of technology,.For instance, star ships production or hologram progress will require new jobs and workplaces where we can carry through with them.On one hand, the creation of new facilities to work could be easier than in the past because we will have made tools good enough to make the workplaces more durable and protected. It is a useful advantage because the workforce will be more comfortable in their environment, and they will be more productive if they work under these circumstances.
On the other hand, workplaces are going to be quite different from the way we have known them at the moment ("today"). The presence of robots will be more frequently than the workforce; therefore, the current way of production will be unfortunately be at stake. It is a huge problem to keep in mind because this revolutionary change might generate by far more tension than expected. By the future era, robots will have been adapted to the new modern workplaces and all the elements that become part of them.
To sum up ("In conclusion" is more formal), innovative technology will influence new types of workplaces. This will provoke a complete reorganization of the structure of the places, or the inclusion of a complex workforce such as robots.
This was great! Most of the changes were made to help with the flow, and the blue changes are just word choice suggestions.
Be careful of using "It" at the beginning of sentences. Usually, you would redefine the subject you are referring to if you choose this format.
Example: "...we will have made tools good enough to make workplaces more durable and protected. It is a useful advantage to have durable and protected workplaces because..."
Lastly, formal writings tend not to use contractions such as "It's". You should break these words up whenever possible. You can use contractions if they help with the sentence flow or if the sentence begins to sound too formal.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to review your entry! I hope this helps :)
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
