〜My Shanghai Diary〜No.2
The university where I go to is Fudan University in Shanghai. I heard,this school is a good university that the levels is first or second place in China,but It doesn't need an exam for language students. Students comes from the various countries,I am a foreigner here too,and I am a oldest one,I guess. There are about 500 people only in the language students. Also,an entrance ceremony was held for the language students. A ceremony begins,and greetings and the explanation from teachers are English as well as Mandarin. An Australian girl who representative in new pupil are talking about an ambitions for school life,Oh! she speaks Mandarin already well! At last,a police explain to us about the matters that require attention in Shanghai,and the ceremony finished smoothly. Then,Mandarin level exam for a classification will be held after this…
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〜My Shanghai Diary〜No.2
The university where I go to is Fudan University in Shanghai. I heard,this school is a good university that the levels is first or second place in China,but It doesn't need an exam for language students. Students comes from the various countries,I am a foreigner here too,and I am a oldest one,I guess. There are about 500 people only in the language students. Also,an entrance ceremony was held for the language students. A ceremony begins,and greetings and the explanation from teachers are English as well as Mandarin. An Australian girl who representative in new pupil are talking about an ambitions for school life,Oh! she speaks Mandarin already well! At last,a police explain to us about the matters that require attention in Shanghai,and the ceremony finished smoothly. Then,Mandarin level exam for a classification will be held after this…I attend Fudan University in Shanghai. I have heard that it is a good university. (Are you trying to say that this university is the best or second best in China?) Fundan University does not require an exam for language students. Students come from various countries. I am a foreigner here, perhaps the oldest one. There are about 500 language students.
An entrance ceremony was held for the language students. When the ceremony began, the greetings and explanations from the teachers were spoken in English as well as Mandarin. An Australian girl, who is a new pupil, talked about ambitions for school life. She spoke Mandarin very well! At the end of the ceremony, a policeman explained to us the matters that require attention in Shanghai. The ceremony finished smoothly.
An exam that tests our level of Mandarin will be held next.
Overall, I think you did a really good job writing this. Just have to be careful of verb tenses, overuse of commas and subject-verb agreement. Good job!
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