Corrections · 2
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Not bad, but there are gramatical mistakes and also mistakes in the way you express yourself. Its obvious English is your second language. Good job overall . Try to express yourself with shorter phrases rather than using long runoff sentances. Here is my correction.
This is a brief resume of my experience running a coffee shop. I work as an intern at Niiagata prefecture. I was looking out for opportunities to make more money and I had an idea to open a coffee shop at a ski resort. Me and some friends gathered together and cane up with a plan. At the time there was a ski turnament and we thought we will do well if we open the coffee shop at the time of the turnament. Many prople were expected to come. We built a tent and start selling hot coffee, tea and yuzu from there. We were expecting a lot of traffic but people were more attracted to the vending mashines that were there. Our sells were few and we didn't have much success. We couldn't sell our drinks because the drinks from the vending mashine were cheaper. If I was a customer I would also prefer to buy coffee from the vending mashine because it was less expensive. Some big companies can sell a can of Coke for 1000 yen, but we couldn't sell ours for 100 yen. Companies like Hilton Hotel sell the concept of "brand name" to people and they buy even if they have to spend more money. Through this experience i understood how important is to study the market before starting your own business.
Mig Ivan
Please kindly check my writing...
What I learned from running a cafeI went to Niigata prefecture with my friends to work as an intern. We ran a cafe at a ski park and sold hot coffee, tea, yuzu tea (it is kind of a citrus fruits), and tapioca as an additional topping. There was a tournament match and a lot of people were there. We were sure that there were a lot of demands because players and audiences wanted something hot to drink. So, we built a tent on the snow and sold drinks there. We supposed expected/anticipated that ("supposed" is not grammatically incorrect, but is not a common way to express this thought) a lot of people would buy our drinks! However, our expectation was wrong. Our cafe was defeated by a vending machine! Some people chose our cafe but most of them bought drinks from the vending machine. This meant that we didn't create values to attract customers. If I was a customer, I absolutely would have bought coffee from a vending machine because it was more cheaper than ours and I hardly found hardly any benefits to get from from buying our cafe. We were lack of lacked the other person's point of view. Therefore, we didn't create values to attract customers. If we could do that, people would buy our items even if it was a little bit more expensive. For example, we can get a cup of Coke for 100 yen. However, some luxury hotels such as Hilton sells it for almost 1000 yen. It seems like ridiculous but some people buy that expensive Coke. Hilton succeeds in creating values so people pay money, for not for the coke itself, but for the values. We should have created those values. I leaned how important it is to stand from another other person's perspective and to study marketing. So, I decided to read books about marketing.
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